


Connect

by ClarySage



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Resident Evil - All Media Types
Genre: Can't trust chairs, Caring Chris, Chris tries to cook, Complete, Damaged Leon, M/M, Rebecca with a cattle prod, Sad letters, Zombies, a lot of blank staring, strong possibility of weird fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-20 09:09:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16552964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClarySage/pseuds/ClarySage
Summary: Chris/LeonAfter getting hit with an A-Virus strain Leon needs looking after until Rebecca can come up with a cure.Chris can probably cope with a mute, freaked out government agent who doesn't really understand what's going on and doesn't remember anyone. Right?





	1. Lab

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how many chapters this is going to be yet but about half of it is already written. Pairing is Chris/Leon. Also contains Capcom level pseudo-science!
> 
> You know that gifset of Leon from RE:Vendetta with the phone, looking like he needs a hug? All wide-eyed and looking like he's about to cry? That is the aesthetic for this fic.

“I need you at the lab. Urgently!” 

After yelling that into her phone Rebecca had hung up on him and when he gets to the lab at her university Chris can see why. 

A few days ago a team of highly skilled government agents had walked into an ambush and half of them had gotten infected, bought back unconscious by their teammates. The description of the gas used in the attack had narrowed the virus down to some variation of the A-virus, so the four infected had been sent to Rebecca. She's the authority on it and had managed to develop a cure for the last batch during the attack by Arias on New York, so there was no reason she couldn't do it again.

She was happy to take it on, especially since several of the agents were people she'd worked with before. Chris only knows one of them, the one currently being separated from the other three by Rebecca with a cattle prod.

“Jesus Christ, are you insane? Get out of there!” Is all Chris can think of to yell, running over to the big glass cell and watching the tiny scientist inside swing her crackling prod at the three former government agents who're trying to reach the fourth. If he wasn't so freaked out by the whole situation he'd think she looked like some sort of wizard waving that thing about with her lab coat on.

The three snarling terrors on one side of the tank look just as horrible as the last time he'd seen them a few days ago. From their photographs they'd previously been a tough-looking young woman, a guy with a buzz cut and an older man who looked like he'd maybe been a friendly guy before he started trying to eat people. All three of them are snapping at Rebecca, although they aren't trying to attack her. It's the fourth infected they're after and Chris feels the familiar sliver of pain through his chest when he looks at Leon Scott Kennedy, who's backed up against the wall of the cell behind Rebecca, staring past her at the other infected with wide eyes and not making a sound. If it wasn't for the fact that he doesn't speak or really understand what anyone is saying to him, Chris wouldn't even know he was infected.

“They won't attack me, I was vaccinated against the original strain. It's not me they're after!” Rebecca points out, jabbing at Buzz Cut Zombie with her cattle prod until he snarls and jerks back, drooling blood and snapping his teeth over and over.

“I can't shoot them, not if you can cure them!” Chris argues, wondering when Rebecca got so good with her electro stick and how long she's been fending them off. Leon has a few scratches and bruises on his neck and one side of his jaw so it looks like she'd had to fight them off him.

“I don't want you to shoot them!” She yells back, jabbing again. “Get Leon out, he's not infectious!” She orders. “He won't bite you, he's not aggressive!” She promises.

Chris isn't sure he believes that but so far Leon hasn't done anything except sit in his corner of the cell all day, avoiding looking at any of them, curled up small. He looks terrified now, even more so when Chris lets himself into the cell and strides over, grabs the smaller man by the arm and drags him out while he struggles silently. Rebecca gives a couple more warning lunges with the cattle prod before following him out, locking the cell again and collapsing gratefully into her chair, letting her weapon clunk to the ground.

“I hope that wasn't your entire plan here,” Chris says after a moment, still attempting to hold onto a wildly struggling Leon, who's still trying to do anything he can to go in the opposite direction from the cage. He's still wearing the leather jacket he'd had on when he'd been caught in the ambush and it makes him hard to keep hold of. It's lucky that Leon doesn't seem to remember any of his training or else Chris knows he'd never be able to keep hold of the slippery little bastard for long.

“Hang on,” Rebecca picks up a syringe, fills it from a little bottle of clear liquid and taps it a few times, approaching in a way that makes Chris hope he never has to get a flu shot from her. Leon is still silent but trying to kick and claw his way out of the headlock Chris has resorted to, unable to do much about it when she jabs him in the neck with the needle and watches his struggles slowly weaken until Chris almost drops him when his knees buckle. He's not too heavy and Chris lifts him onto the nearby exam table once his eyes roll back as he loses consciousness, finally managing to take a breath and step back. The three infected in the tank are pressed against the glass wall closest to Leon, focussed on him and growling in a low chorus that Chris tries to ignore as he pants, not appreciating the impromptu workout.

“Please for the love of god, if you're on your own and there's nobody with a gun around can you not get into a tank with zombies?” Chris asks weakly, feeling Rebecca pat him reassuringly on the shoulder and then lead him over to her paper-strewn desk.

“No promises,” she smiles, bringing up something on the screen that looks like a bunch of squiggles and dots to Chris, who tries to ignore the groaning background singers as she gears up to tell him what the heck's going on. “I need your help.” She announces.

“You just had my help. You need more help?” He takes a seat nearby, waiting expectantly and wishing they made plastic chairs with guys his size in mind.

“Leon needs your help, I should say.” She corrects, gesturing to the screen. “Meet Leon's virus, which doesn't have a name yet because it's a unique dead end mutation.” She claims. “I'm thinking A-Virus Trigger Inert Variant 1, it'll sound good in my next paper.”

Chris just stares at her, subtly reminding her that science is her field and his is the less academic field of 'shooting things with an assault rifle'.

“Trust me, it will. Anyway, those three have a slightly mutated form of the A-Virus, okay?” She gestures to the three in the tank, who're still clawing at the glass to try and reach Leon's sleeping body. “Leon got infected with the same thing at the same time, but it mutated again inside him. Leon's been in this as long as we have and he's been exposed to a heck of a lot of vaccines, viruses and chemicals over the years. The most notable one was back in Spain, I know you read the report. He managed to kill it but for a while he was infected with a submissive strain Plaga parasite and the A-Virus in his blood got up close and personal with the remnants of it.” She explains, getting up and leading him over to the table where Leon is sleeping, looking peaceful and not at all like the other three. 

“You said he's not infectious?” Chris asks, trying not to stare at Leon because he's never really gotten to look at him for so long before. He looks good when he's asleep, all relaxed and handsome. He looks good when he's awake, too, Chris thinks a little guiltily.

“Nope, it's specific to Leon. The other three are infectious but their strain is so close to the original A-Virus that they're like the previous victims; they won't attack anyone with the Vaccine strain. Lucky me!” She smiles, looking like a cheerful pixie and not like she was just in a cage full of zombies holding three of them off with a cattle prod.

“Even so, please don't go in there again.” Chris asks, glancing at the three infected trying to get at Leon, dragging their bloody nails down the glass and growling. One of them is licking the window, which is gross. “Why are they trying to kill him if he's one of them?” He asks, watching the way Rebecca sighs and strokes Leon's hair away from his eyes.

“He has what's basically the submissive version of their virus, probably because his plaga was a subordinate and not dominant strain. They're not trying to kill him, they're trying to use him to breed. Probably not like human breed,” she clarifies at his wide-eyed look. “Like virus breed. As far as I can tell, anyway. If they managed it they could potentially create a stronger strain of the A-Virus, or they might just turn him all the way, or even kill him. There's no way to know and the moment I leave them alone in here they try to jump him. He can fend them off for a while because there's nothing wrong with his motor skills, unlike them. However, I can't risk leaving him in there with them any longer, not now that I know what they're trying to do to him. I couldn't have gotten him out of there without you but I need you to keep an eye on him for me.” She says, still stroking Leon's hair gently like a mother while he sleeps the peaceful sleep of the heavily sedated. “He isn't violent. He's just a little scrambled right now, I don't think he remembers much. I know I can cure this but I don't have another holding cell here and if I have to watch them the whole time I'll get nothing done. I can't just keep him sedated, it could be a couple of weeks before I can reverse this.”

“Okay,” Chris says slowly, “What exactly are you asking me to do here?” 

She smiles at him sweetly, the way she does right before she asks something crazy. He knows it's coming and braces for it, pretty much able to guess what she wants already.

“I'm asking you to take Leon home. His home, not yours. He might be more comfortable there where it's at least a little familiar, and he isn't a danger to anyone so there's no reason to keep him locked up. I don't want him to end up traumatized because I locked him in a cell full of violent infected, he's just all quiet and confused right now and he needs looking after. You're the only one strong enough to stop him escaping, will you take him? I'm sure he wouldn't mind you staying over at his place until I have a workable cure.”

“What? What am I supposed to do with him?” Chris asks, staring at her and then down at Leon's sleeping face.

“I don't know, talk to him? You guys never really got the chance to be friends, maybe this is a good opportunity!” She smiles.

“Can he talk back or understand what I'm saying?” Chris asks flatly, knowing full well the answer is no.

“That's not the point! Make a connection, but most importantly keep him safe and get him out of here so I can fix these guys. You can work from home a little, it won't hurt. You can check in with me whenever you need to and you'd be doing me, them, Leon and science a great favour.” She smiles again, already fetching a folding wheelchair to help get Leon down to Chris' jeep. She drags it out from behind the examination table and opens it out, holding the handles and smiling sweetly at him. The more she smiles, the more trouble he knows he's in.

“He's not a pet, I'm not qualified for this,” Chris argues, sounding a little desperate because he isn't sure he can handle this situation as well as she thinks. He can just about manage to feed and clothe himself on a daily basis, let alone Viral Leon, who seems to be pretty freaked out by everything when he's conscious. 

“You'll be fine!” Rebecca insists, jingling a set of keys that must be Leon's and looking like she's not about to take no for an answer. “Now help me get him to your car, you're going to have a wonderful time.”

Chris stares uncertainly at Leon and eventually does as she asks because he isn't sure how to argue with her, but he doesn't believe her at all.


	2. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify - yes this is a Chris/Leon fic. There's some Krauser/Leon mentioned later but it's in the past. Apologies if the tone of the writing changes here and there, I wrote a lot of it in chunks at different times and in no real order, and it still isn't quite finished yet.

After everything is said and done with Rebecca at the lab Chris takes the unconscious agent back to Leon's large apartment. He has Leon's keys, wallet and government ID, and even though he's orbiting 40 and has been pretty high up in the anti-bioterrorism food chain for a long time, he still thinks Leon's DSO ID is cool. Leon is kind of like James Bond, except not British and with more attractive hair, which hangs over his face because he's strapped into the passenger seat, head nodding forward because he's still out cold. Rebecca was way too good with that needle when she had to sedate him, he makes a mental note not to ever upset her just in case. He's known a lot of scary women over the years and he's come to the conclusion that it's the little sweet-looking ones like Sherry and Rebecca that are the most frightening. At least with Claire, Jill and Sheva they'll let him know before they go on a rampage so he can get out of the way.

Leon's address is in his wallet on his driver's license, which Chris is surprised to see that he actually has. He recalls fondly reading the report after the events in China and tallying up all the things Leon had crashed, which had started off with the usual upside-down police car, progressed to flying a helicopter through an office building, reached the stage of crash landing a full sized passenger jumbo jet into the middle of a city and ended with a freight train. He can still remember the shiver of dread that had gone down his spine during the fight with Arias recently, when he'd heard Leon say the dreaded words 'dibs on the bike.'

Leon apparently still has a driver's license because he works for the government, though, and he inputs the address into his jeep's satnav and spends a few minutes fighting with it, wishing that Leon was awake and back to normal so he could get it to work properly. He can take apart and put back together almost every type of gun he's ever come across, fly a helicopter and even get the spreadsheet program on his computer at work to function most of the time, but printers and satnavs are so far beyond him. Leon sleeps peacefully next to him as he fights with it but he manages to get the route to show up eventually and gets them across the city, driving carefully and hoping he doesn't get pulled over for anything because he's going to have a hard time explaining why he has an unconscious government operative in his car. He decides to use the 'sorry officer, he's drunk' excuse if it happens, but luckily he's a much better driver than Leon is and they get to the parking lot for Leon's building without him flipping the car. Leon's neighbours are going to be pretty surprised to see a car in his spot that's the right way up and not on fire, Chris thinks with a smile as he gets out of the car and grabs the folding wheelchair from the back. 

He could probably carry Leon, he thinks as he opens the passenger side door and reaches across him to unbuckle his seatbelt. He's pretty small, since he relies on stealth and speed instead of picking enemies up and piledriving them into the floor like Chris enjoys doing regularly. The first time Leon had seen him do that the look on his face had been hilarious. He has at least 50lbs on Leon, who's way stronger than he looks but hasn't hulked out like Chris, who lifts him easily out of the seat and looks up at the apartment building. Leon probably wouldn't want his neighbours seeing him get carried bridal style up to his apartment, no matter how much Chris is guiltily enjoying holding him like that. Leon's head is resting against his shoulder and he looks good when he sleeps, it's hard not to stare at him. He has really long eyelashes, Chris notices. Pretty lips, too, and okay, it's time to put him down. 

The building has an elevator, thankfully, and it's easy to figure out which floor is Leon's from the number on his keys. They don't run into anyone on the way which is good because Chris isn't sure what he'd tell them about why Leon is out cold and has a bunch of dried blood on his clothes, although it's probably not going to be the first time Leon has gone home covered in blood. It probably is the first time someone else has had to take him home in a wheelchair, though. 

They get in without incident and he locks the door, takes a moment to look around Leon's apartment. It's nicer than he expected, he'd never really pictured how Leon might live but the modern, comfortable space he finds inside doesn't look like it belongs to a depressed alcoholic, so that's a plus. The main space is open plan, a large living room with a comfortable looking couch and matching armchair, a decent sized TV and a glass coffee table in the middle. There's a glass door that leads out onto a small balcony with a table and chairs and at one end of the room is a counter island that divides the living room from the kitchen area. The kitchen is nice and modern and stocked with a bunch of bottles of sauces and pots of herbs and things Chris is too bad a cook to have and on the other side of the living room are a few doors that must lead to the rest of the apartment.

He wheels Leon over to the doors and opens one, finds a bathroom way bigger and nicer than the one he has. The amount of products in there don't surprise him in the slightest and he smiles, knowing the truth about how Leon gets his hair to look so nice all the time. The urge to find out if Leon's hair is as soft as it looks is strong and he figures he might not get the chance again, so while Leon is still unconscious he brushes the smaller man's hair behind one ear and confirms his suspicions that Leon's hair is silky soft. He's darkened it recently and it looks good, Chris genuinely can't decide if blonde Leon or brunette Leon looks better. Both are pretty eye catching.

The other room is the bedroom and he wheels the chair in, taking a quick look around. Huge bed, soft covers, all the basics like desk, closet, chest of drawers, bedside table with some sort of complicated-looking mp3 player alarm clock radio thing that Chris decides he's not touching ever unless it starts making noises. 

He supposes he needs to put Leon on the bed but he crouches down first and unzips the leather jacket Leon is wearing, struggling a little with the arms but eventually getting it off him before lifting him to lay on the bed. His head falls back and Chris stares at his throat, wishing Leon wasn't so attractive because as far as he can tell Leon has no interest in men. He's never seen any indication, anyway, although they've never really spent much time together when something wasn't exploding around them. It's going to be a difficult couple of weeks, he thinks.

He briefly debates putting Leon in some clean clothes but he doesn't think either he or Leon are ready for that, so instead he digs out something for him to wear when he wakes up - a big blue t-shirt with a logo for spark plugs on it and a pair of grey sweatpants - and leaves them next to Leon on the bed. He does take off Leon's boots, though. As an afterthought he unbuttons Leon's shirt, trying to ignore the way he can see a line of Leon's well-defined chest and the dip of his navel between the two halves once it's undone. He pops the button on Leon's jeans as well just in case he doesn't remember how to do that, immediately retreating out into the living room and deciding he's going to call Rebecca with an update and not think about undressing Leon at all.

xxx

Half an hour later he slips his phone back into his pocket after hanging up, knowing that Leon is awake because he'd been able to hear him moving about in the bedroom. He waits for the door to open, watching Leon appear in his clean clothes, notice him and immediately retreat back into the bedroom.

"I'm not gonna hurt you." Chris tries, staying in the middle of the living room and letting Leon come to him instead, giving him time. The last time Leon had been conscious Chris had been restraining him in a headlock, he hopes the younger agent doesn't decide to hold a grudge or end up terrified of him forever. He also hopes that Leon remembers that he's the one who got him out of the cage with the other infected.

It takes a long few minutes but eventually Leon reappears, keeping his eyes on Chris as he slowly emerges from the bedroom. He looks freaked out, but Chris figures he would as well if some big guy had knocked him out and taken him somewhere. He tries to look friendly and smiles at Leon, who just watches the expression blankly and then raises a hand to his own lips, touching them once but not trying to copy the smile. 

"Do you remember this place?" Chris asks, glancing around and for the first time noticing that there aren't any pictures on the walls of people Leon might recognize. There aren't really that many personal trinkets either, only generic things that could belong to anyone. He wonders if Leon has any photos or if he just isn't a fan of them.

Leon seems to be surprised by it every time he speaks and doesn't seem to understand anything he's saying, although he doesn't back away or seem to be frightened by his tone so he must be doing that right. Once he's given Chris a long, thorough stare he looks around the apartment and Chris sits tiredly on the couch, watching Leon wander slowly around the place running the tips of his fingers ever-so-gently over everything. It looks like he's trying to remember, like maybe he feels as though he should know the place. He spends about an hour doing that silently, feeling the shape of the kitchen counter and looking down at it blankly before moving on to the next area. All the way around the open plan living room and kitchen he inspects everything, perhaps learning it again, and Chris watches. 

“This is your house,” Chris tells him gently after quietly watching him inspect it all with those unreadable blue eyes. He's always been a secretive bastard and the silence just adds to it – luckily he's also always had eyes that make it easy to tell when he's hurting inside, no matter how stoic he is. Chris just hopes that continues, he needs to know if Leon is upset and so far it looks like that's the only way he's going to be able to express it.

At his words Leon pauses, fingertips tracing lightly along the edge of a picture frame on the wall that holds a print of cityscape, watching where his own fingers meet the wood instead of looking at the actual picture. He listens to what Chris says but there's no way to know if he understands because he just goes back to learning the place, staying around the edges of the large room. Chris isn't sure that Leon is entirely comfortable with him yet, he gets the feeling that Leon is always aware of where he is and if he's moving. He's sat still so far but he tests the theory by shifting his weight slightly, watching the way Leon freezes for a moment, not looking at him but tensing, waiting to see what he'll do. 

“I could use a drink.” Chris murmurs, getting up but making sure to do it smooth and slow, without sudden movements. Leon retreats to the opposite side of the room from the kitchen when he heads there, watching warily as Chris reaches for the refrigerator.

“Okay,” Chris looks down at the door, hand ready to open it. “I'm guessing you live on...beer and salad.” He opens it, grins when he's right. There's a couple of different types of decent beer and cola lined up in glass bottles and everything else in there is healthy – salad, eggs and yogurt. There's good quality bacon wrapped in half a sheet of grease-proof paper and he smiles slightly at that, remembering the amount of times Leon has mentioned his love of breakfast over the years. Suddenly he misses Leon's voice, low and kind and always sounding just a little lonely, even though he's always been brave and skilled and handsome by anyone's standards. It's always been a mystery why he never settled down with anyone, Chris always just figured it was because Ada hadn't let Leon catch her yet. There's nothing of hers in Leon's apartment that he's seen so far, though, not even a single sign that she's ever been there. He has to wonder if maybe she wasn't the reason after all.

“I'm helping myself to a beer, okay? You gotta pay babysitters.” Chris says, taking one and popping off the cap on the opener attached to the side of the fridge. He glances over to see what Leon thinks about this only to find him closer, standing uncertainly on the other side of the kitchen island that divides the cooking area and the living room. He's staring at the bottle but when he notices Chris watching him he looks away, running his eyes over the little pots of herbs and bottles of sauce lined up neatly by the oven.

“Are you thirsty too?” Chris guesses, holding up the beer and watching the way Leon looks at it again, curious but still wary. “I don't think I should be letting you drink these, buddy. How about cola?” Chris suggests, taking a bottle from the fridge and popping off the cap, placing it down in the middle of the counter top between them. Leon watches him back off and keeps staring at him for a long moment before looking down at it. He spends a long minute running his eyes over the glass bottle, head tilted slightly to one side because he can hear the fizz from it. 

Chris just waits patiently and figures there's going to be a lot of this until Leon is better. Eventually deeming it safe Leon reaches for it, touching it tentatively as though it might move or hurt him somehow. When it doesn't he moves closer to the island and looks up, watching Chris, who tilts his own beer back and takes a swig just to demonstrate how it works. Leon looks down at his drink again and picks it up carefully, turning the bottle around a couple of times before raising it up and sniffing at it distrustfully. Whatever conclusion he comes to doesn't stop him from finally taking a sip, immediately putting the bottle down with a jerky movement and stumbling back a few steps with wide eyes, raising a hand to his lips and touching them. The bottle rattles against the counter but doesn't fall over thankfully – Chris almost wants to laugh at the way Leon stares at it in alarm.

“Not a fan of the bubbles, I guess?” 

He takes the bottle and puts it back in the fridge for later just to stop Leon from looking at it like it's a bomb about to go off. A safer bet seems to be water and he fills a clean cup from the tap, placing it down where the coke bottle was and stepping back to see if Leon will take the offering. He's like a stray cat, Chris thinks as he watches Leon slowly creep forward. Instead of picking it up this time Leon holds his hand out flat and tentatively places his palm over the top of the cup, not touching it. Feeling for the bubbles, Chris realises, and when Leon doesn't find any he carefully picks up the cup and raises it to his lips, eyes flicking between it and Chris distrustfully until he takes a sip. He looks like he expects something bad to happen but there's no fizziness and his shoulders relax a little, retreating with the cup back over into the living room.

“When I tell you about this later I reserve the right to laugh at you.” Chris says, leaning forward over the counter where Leon's cup had been to drink his beer and watch the younger agent move to a corner of the room to drink as though someone might try and take it off him. He must have been pretty thirsty because he drinks it quickly, carrying the cup around with him afterwards as he goes back to inspecting all the bits of the living room he hadn't gotten to yet. Chris figures that's his cue to start making dinner and leaves Leon to it for a while, deciding on pasta because it's easy and he's a soldier, not a chef. Leon might have a nice kitchen full of fancy cooking equipment and healthy recipe books but Chris intends to use exactly the minimum amount of tools to get the job done, which is one big pan and something to stir it with. 

He'll eat pretty much anything as long as it's a big enough portion to upset Claire, who's tried to teach him to cook things with more than two colours plenty of times but never managed to get him to retain any of it. He makes a note to ask Leon to cook him something one day, just to see if all the fancy stuff in his kitchen is just for show or not. It'll probably be amazing though; there's not a lot Leon can't do if he decides he's going to learn how. He has a pretty wide skill set, which isn't a surprise given the job he does. He's going to have to be content with pasta though, because Chris is proud to admit that most of his own skills are destruction related. He can fly a plane and a helicopter too because he was in the air force, but that helps with the destruction a lot of the time.

It's strange to think that Leon had intended to be a cop before all this, not too different from his own intended career in the air force before he'd joined STARS. Although, Leon had only been a cop for a single day and he'd been so good at it that he'd immediately been scouted for USSTRATCOM after Raccoon City. He remembers reading about Leon rescuing Ashley Graham from the Los Illuminados cult in Spain a few years later and he'd felt pretty proud of Leon, although he'd never told him that. They didn't really talk much outside of the few times they met at functions or during joint assignments. He'd always had the intention in the back of his mind to try and connect with Leon a little more – they're similar in a lot of ways and he'd always felt like they should have gotten on better. Even Rebecca had said so int he lab and during the incident with Arias recently; Chris was never sure why they hadn't connected, why they always seemed to end up arguing. Probably because they only ever met under high stress conditions where making friends was probably the last thing either of them was thinking about. He'll always remember that Leon was the one who snapped him out of his vengeance-fuelled mission to kill who he'd thought was Ada in Lanshiang, though. Even with the way things had turned out in the end he was glad – he wasn't in this to kill for revenge, not in cold blood like that. Leon had reminded him that justice was the priority before running off after Simmons, looking like he'd already been through hell.

The pasta pot almost boils over while he's staring into space, thinking about China. It jerks him out of his reverie and he takes it off the heat, noticing that Leon is pressed against one wall in the living room watching the steam rising from the pot and the noise it's making. He has those wide, alarmed eyes again and Chris waves a hand through the steam to show him it's harmless, sending him a reassuring smile.

Leon's eyes follow the expression but again he doesn't try to mirror it – Chris hasn't seen him smile at all since he was infected. He doesn't really frown either, he just watches everything silently and takes it all in with only his eyes showing any kind of emotion – although it's usually a mystery what he feels. Chris recognises alarm and curiosity but most of the time he can't figure out what's going on inside Leon at all. Pretty much like before he was infected if he's honest.

“I hope you're hungry, this is a lot of pasta even for me.” Chris mentions, glancing into the pan after he drains the water. “I never know how much you're supposed to put in, it looks a lot less when it's not cooked.” He mutters, watching Leon starting to creep closer from the corner of his eye, concentrating on dishing out the simple meal and adding a little cheese to the top. He glances at the jars of sauce in one of the cabinets but Leon didn't get on too well with the bubbles earlier and it seems prudent to go with plain for now. 

“Okay, dinner is served.” He announces, placing the two bowls down on the island and taking a seat on one of the tall chairs tucked neatly under the edge, pushing Leon's bowl slowly towards him. He seems to understand that it's for him and comes closer, eyes on the food. “Want a refill?” Chris gestures to the empty cup Leon is still clutching and holds out a hand patiently, waiting. The younger man looks at his hand and then down at his cup, then back up at Chris. He keeps the cup held against his chest, refusing to relinquish it, so Chris just sighs and fetches him a fresh cup of water that he places down beside his dinner. “Those aren't infinite so don't get attached to all of them, okay?” He raises his eyebrows at Leon, who just looks at him blankly and then reaches for the water in his new cup, taking a sip and eyeing the food in his bowl as though he isn't sure about it.

Leading by example again Chris uses his fork to eat a couple of pieces, knowing that Leon is watching everything he does. After a few more mouthfuls Leon picks up the fork beside his own bowl, having to put his cups down on the counter but keeping them close. He spends a while inspecting the utensil before copying what Chris had done, spearing a twirl of pasta and raising it up to observe it silently for a while. It takes him a good thirty seconds to decide it's safe and eat it, lowering his eyes to the counter top while he chews, sizing it up. 

“This is about as plain as it gets, buddy. If you can't handle pasta we're gonna have a problem.” Chris tells him, knowing he doesn't understand a word but hoping he picks up on the friendly tone and starts to get used to Chris being near him. He reminds Chris of some sort of skittish wild animal, although he's never going to tell Leon that later because he might get shot if he does.

The conclusion seems to be that pasta is fine, since Leon swallows it and eats a little more.

“You gonna sit down?” Chris asks, since Leon is standing at the counter. Leon looks up at him, seeming to know it's a question, waiting. Chris uses one foot to push one of the chairs under the counter out for Leon on his side, who rears back from it when it moves. He backs up a few steps from it, still holding the fork and watching until he sees Chris' foot, which makes him drop to a crouch to look under the counter. 

“Chair?” Chris points to it when Leon reappears, watching him turn and level the seat with expressionless eyes. Instead of sitting down on it Leon puts his fork down next to his bowl and nudges it a few times until it's perfectly straight against the lines of the tiles on the counter top before turning to the chair and reaching out for it. He runs his fingers over the back of it once and then picks it up and moves it away, over by the couch. That's where he leaves it, heading back to the counter to stand and resume eating his dinner carefully.

“Okay then.” Chris remarks, adding chairs to the list of things Leon doesn't like.

xxx

After dinner Chris is pretty full and cleans up before heading into the living room to sit down in the armchair that matches the big couch. He figures he'll let Leon have that since he apparently doesn't get on with chairs but Leon follows him over and stands at the side of the armchair, staring silently at him until he starts to feel weird about it.

“What?” He asks, “I fed you and there's water still in your cup, and I know you know how to use the bathroom on your own. If you need anything more complex than that you're gonna have to give me some clues, you've always been the one who's good at puzzles.” Chris says, watching Leon stare silently at him for a little longer before reaching out slowly and touching the arm of the chair, running his fingers over the light blue fabric before letting his hand drop to his side and looking up at Chris again.

It takes a moment but Chris has to laugh when he figures out what Leon is after.

“This is your chair?” He asks, getting up and watching the DSO's finest climb into the big armchair where he'd just been sitting, tucking his feet up to one side of himself and finally stopping with the hollow staring. 

“Okay.” Chris says as he takes a seat on the couch instead. “The armchair is your special chair and I'm not allowed to sit there. Gotcha. I hope you know I'm remembering all of this stuff and your smooth secret agent image is gonna take some serious damage.” He warns playfully, wondering why he'd never really teased Leon like that when he'd been able to respond to it. They really should have gotten along better, it's kind of nice having Leon silently near him like some kind of distrustful rescue dog. He's curious about Leon's life now that he's getting a look at the neat but comfortable way he lives and learning a little about him from it. Maybe when he's better they can do this again, only with a little more conversation and better food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed it please leave a kudos - it's really encouraging! :D
> 
> Also, for anyone looking for something a little more adult there's now a second part to my other Krauser/Leon oneshot (which I should have called 'Cucking Chris' because that seems to be a running theme, but is actually called 'Sharing'. It's another pwp one-shot in a similar vein to the first one but I just added it as a second chapter out of laziness instead of making it a fic on its own.


	3. Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick one today. Thanks for the comments. :D

Chris is not a small guy, a fact that has helped him out many times when he needs to punch boulders out of his way or intimidate people smaller than him or fistfight monsters. It's also caused him the odd problem here or there, though. One of those problems is that, as Leon had pointed out to him recently before fighting Arias, his 'stealth's for shit.' He thinks that's only in comparison to Leon himself, though, and that's a hard bar for anyone to reach.

Another problem his size causes him is that he isn't the kind of guy who can sleep on a couch. For some people it's fine but for Chris it's a one way ticket to waking up with a broken neck or a zigzag for a spine. 

He stares down at it and considers sleeping in a sitting position, but he's going to be at Leon's place for a couple of weeks from what Rebecca had said and if he has to babysit then he wants to be comfortable. He has two options as far as he can see it; he can either sleep on the floor or he can see if Leon minds him sharing his huge bed.

The bed sounds infinitely more appealing, especially if Leon is in it. He probably shouldn't be thinking things like that; he wants Leon to trust him and they could probably share a bed that size without even touching. Maybe they could sleep top and tails like he did whenever he stayed over with friends as a kid, surely Leon couldn't be too upset about that when he's better. 

Deciding to give that a try because his back will thank him later, Chris changes into the thankfully clean gym sweats from the duffel in his jeep, since it's the closest thing he has to pyjamas until he can get back to his place and bring over some essentials. They're comfy and loose enough to sleep in, and they're pretty close to what Leon is still wearing so he doesn't feel too strange. Not that Leon has the faculties to judge him for his fashion sense right now anyway, but he's always conscious that when he's in his right mind Leon normally looks great. He seems to have a soft spot for leather jackets these last few years and Chris is definitely okay with that.

“Ready for bed?” He asks Leon as he makes his way into the bedroom. Leon had wandered in there a while ago and he'd taken a quick look to see what the smaller man was doing, deciding to leave him to it when all he'd been up to was running his fingers over every surface again, mapping it all out carefully. He's still at it now, sitting on the edge of the bed and touching the lights on the complicated alarm radio on the night stand.

At his words Leon startles a little and presses something on the radio. It starts blaring rock music and Leon scrambles away from it, retreating quickly behind where Chris is standing. That seems fair, it made him jump too.

“Hey, it's okay. It's just music, let me turn this thing off.” He tells Leon, who keeps himself pressed against the wall. He's behind Chris, which makes him wonder if perhaps Leon is starting to trust him a little. Maybe he knows that the giant man in his house will protect him, Chris hopes so. Not that Leon ever usually needs protecting from things but it's nice to have the opportunity when it's something harmless. Or perhaps not so harmless.

“Why does this have so many buttons?”

He isn't sure why it needs so many options but after looking it over and reminding himself once again that he can fly a helicopter and he's not dumb, he takes the easier option anyway and unplugs it. Aerosmith stop screaming abruptly and he turns to watch Leon slowly relax, padding over in his bare feet to stand next to Chris and stare at the dark, silent radio.

“It's okay, it's dead now.” Chris reassures him. Leon looks up at him from his side, since he's a few inches shorter, and then looks back at the radio with his unreadable eyes. Chris still gets the impression he's angry with it so he picks it up and wraps the cord around it, knowing that Leon is watching as he takes it over to the closet and stashes it on a shelf at the back. 

“There. He won't be bothering us again.” He decrees, shutting the closet and leaning over the bed to move half the pillows to the other end. “Bedtime. Listen, I know you're not gonna be happy about this but I'm 6”1 and built like a barn door, that couch is gonna cripple me.” He claims, waiting for any kind of reaction. Leon just stands on the other side of the bed and stares at him so he sighs, pulling back the covers. “I know, I know, hitting the gym was a conscious decision on my part and I have no right to whine about having great shoulders.” He grins, reaching over to flick the light off and getting into bed while Leon stares around in the suddenly dim light from the window, obviously wondering why it went dark suddenly. “I know you spent a chunk of today sedated but the rest has to have been a pretty wild ride for you so you gotta be getting tired by now. In you get, I promise not to get weird about this if you won't.” He tells Leon, who probably still doesn't understand a word he's saying. 

When a minute passes and Leon is still staring up at the dark light bulb uncertainly Chris reaches over and pulls back the covers on Leon's side to show him where to sleep, at the other end of the bed. Leon watches in the near darkness and seems to be sizing up his options, looking around the room and then back at Chris and the bed. Figuring it's probably better to let him do things at his own speed and to seem as non threatening as possible, Chris rolls over and closes his eyes, listening until he hears Leon shift a little. For a moment he worries that Leon has gone back out to sleep in the living room and he isn't even sure what he'll do in that case – he couldn't take the bed and make Leon sleep out there in his own house. The bed dips after a minute though and he's relieved to feel Leon get in.

That should be the end of it but he can feel Leon doing something, moving about and shuffling. A moment later the pillows from Leon's end of the bed are placed carefully next to the ones he's using and Leon gets in next to him, not touching. Chris isn't sure if it's because he wants to sleep there or because he thinks that's what he's supposed to do because he watched Chris do it, but either way at least they're both in the bed, even if they're both sleeping the wrong way up.


	4. Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the lovely comments Dpb97 and Neko! It's really encouraging, I'm glad you're enjoying it. :D There's going to be a bit more Chris/Leon from here, although I think caretaker Chris is super cute so there's a lot of that. Also Chris having to practise some military grade self restraint.   
> As for Leon's POV I may add something in near the end if it fits but for now Leon isn't really thinking in words, what's going on in his head and how much he understands is a mystery.   
> Quick mention as well – there's a pretty sad chapter coming up soon. Can't have a Resident Evil fic with zero angst, right?

The next morning Chris predictably wakes up with a warm lump against his back, blinking in the grey light because either he blacked out and got a dog last night (not impossible) or Leon is actually pressed right up to him.

 

He doesn't move for a while, just guiltily enjoying it. He can hear Leon breathing softly and it's been a really long time since he slept like this with anyone. He isn't the type to go pick someone up at a bar and he hasn't had a relationship for a while - he wonders if Leon has. There always seems to be some pretty girl that he's helping out during a crisis but Chris is never around him enough to know if he ever goes home with any of them afterwards. He should have talked to Leon more, maybe asked him out to a bar. Even if it wasn't a date they could have at least been better friends, he would've liked that. It would have helped a lot with knowing what to do now, as well. He doesn't even know what Leon likes to eat, let alone anything else.

 

Waking up in Leon's bed with Leon next to him isn't something he's going to forget for a while, though. As carefully and slowly as he can, he turns over so that he can see the smaller man, smiling when Leon just frowns slightly in his sleep and curls closer to his chest. That's about the most expression Chris has even seen on him this whole time.

 

Leon looks ridiculously cute in his sleep, not at all like a well seasoned government operative who spends his time running around in the dark shooting zombies and crashing any vehicle he gets into. He's curled with his hands up in front of him, pressed close to Chris. It makes him wonder if it's because Leon feels safe with him or because he's just really warm – either way Leon is breathing softly against his t-shirt and his fingers are twitching slightly in some dream, although it doesn't seem to be a bad one because he doesn't look distressed.

 

His hair is really soft, Chris brushes it out of Leon's eyes softly and imagines Leon waking up and smiling at him and saying something about coffee in a low, ragged voice because he's still half asleep. It's probably not healthy to be imagining these things but Leon never has to know, when he's better. They can just go back to barely speaking unless something needs to be killed. He has to wonder if Leon has ever wanted to be more than that, though. Even if it's just friends, has he ever looked over at Chris after they've both survived something crazy and wished they could just go out for a beer together?

 

It's a pretty depressing thought and Chris focusses on Leon's face instead, noticing that the stubble on his jaw is starting to get a little long and wondering what the heck he's going to do about that because there's no chance he's going to give Leon a razor. Not that he thinks Leon would hurt anyone with it, he'd probably just wander around the apartment holding it all day like with the cup. If he couldn't remember how to turn off the clock radio thing that'd blared music at them last night then he probably doesn't remember how to shave, though.

 

Leon has long eyelashes too, Chris notices during his staring. They have a hint of blonde in them even though Leon has gone with a darker hair colour recently. It seems to be a different colour every time Chris sees him, he wonders if it's something Leon does when he's on security detail or working undercover to make himself stand out less. The ash-blonde hair he'd had in his twenties had been pretty distinctive, he blends in a lot better as a brunette. Maybe he'll dye it back one day, he did look good as a blonde. Perhaps when he retires and finally gets to relax a little.

 

It's probably a good thing that Leon's eyes flutter and he starts to wake before Chris gets on to staring too long at his lips. It's hard enough not to do that when Leon is awake and standing in front of him and in his right mind, let alone when he's asleep and they're slightly parted for each soft breath and Chris could easily just reach out and run his fingertips over them. Bad idea. Very bad. Leon would definitely not be okay with that, especially if he isn't into guys.

 

Blue eyes finally open and Leon blinks a few times, looks at the solid wall of chest in front of him and reaches out to touch it curiously, jerking back when Chris laughs softly and it rumbles through him. Leon looks up in shock then and seems to realise that it's actually Chris and not some big, warm wall. He scrambles back on the bed and sits there looking at Chris like a cat who's just been startled by something, blinking again and staring around the room in the early morning light.

 

“Morning.” Chris greets, watching Leon focus on him again and slowly relax his tense shoulders, probably remembering Chris from yesterday. “Sleep well?” Chris asks even though he knows Leon can't answer, yawning widely and getting up with a groan. He stretches, glances over at Leon and notices the scrutiny his muscles are getting. “Don't encourage me.” He laughs softly, knowing not to read into Leon's usual blank staring.

 

“Okay, come with me. I gotta introduce you to a razor. You'll kill me when you're better if I let you look scruffy.” Chris decides, figuring that Leon hasn't shaved for a few days because of the time he was in the lab and he doesn't look too wild yet, so they shouldn't have to do this often. Leon gets up and follows him when he heads out to the bathroom, looking around curiously at all the bottles and other products in there. He picks up a facecloth from the neatly folded pile near the bath and turns it over a few times, carrying it with him as he joins Chris beside the big mirror over the sink.

 

“Okay, first up; this is a toothbrush.” Chris picks up the one from beside the sink, handing it to Leon. “You remember what to do with that?” He asks, watching Leon turn it over a few times and then look up at him cluelessly.

 

“Superb.” Chris mutters. He'd been planning on grabbing his own toothbrush from his place later on but he checks around Leon's neat bathroom to see if there's a spare he can use, pleased to find one still in the packet in the cabinet behind the mirror. “Okay, good. Here we go, toothpaste.” He picks up the tube, squeezes some onto his toothbrush and then gestures for Leon to hold his up, pleased when it's held out for him.

 

“It's minty, okay? You gonna be able to handle minty?” He asks, only putting a little bit onto Leon's brush because he isn't sure how Leon will react to it. Once that's done he shows his to Leon again before he starts brushing his teeth, discreetly watching Leon in the mirror.

 

The smaller man watches Chris for a while and then looks down at his own toothbrush again, raising it up to take a closer look before tentatively trying to copy what Chris is doing. At the first taste of the toothpaste he shudders and his eyes water but he doesn't spit it out until after Chris does, the tap running. Chris would laugh at him if he wasn't so distracted by watching Leon blink back the tears that'd sprung up in his eyes from the mint, still holding the toothbrush. When Chris puts his in the holder Leon copies the movement and Chris is glad he's willing to relinquish the toothbrush, since he's still clutching the facecloth in one hand.

 

“Good job.” Chris tells him, smiling. Leon looks up at the smile and touches his own lips for a moment, interested. “Now we have to do one more thing, okay? I'm gonna show you but you might have to let me do this the first time or you're gonna end up shaving off your eyebrows or something.”

 

Leon doesn't understand a word he says as usual but watches him intently as he uses Leon's razor to shave quickly, using some of Leon's expensive shaving cream and hoping he doesn't mind. When he's done he stills when Leon reaches out and touches him voluntarily for the first time, the pads of his fingers tracing the now-smooth line of his jaw curiously.

 

“You're killing me here, buddy.” Chris tells him softly, trying not to think about how easy it would be to lean down and kiss Leon. He's close enough that it wouldn't take much but he restrains himself, having to list the reasons why it's a bad idea in his head while Leon carefully explores him. Leon's touch is light as a feather, just the tips of his fingers delicately feeling out what he wants to understand. When he's done his hand drops back to his side and he looks at the shaving cream and then back up at Chris, seeming to know that it's his turn.

 

“I really hope you don't remember this later,” Chris mutters, figuring that if Leon does then it'll make things even more awkward between them. He takes the cream and squirts a little into his hand, then reaches out for Leon, doing it very slowly and watching Leon's eyes to make sure he's okay with it. “I'm not gonna hurt you,” Chris promises in a murmur, feeling Leon twitch when his hand finally cups the smaller man's chin, although Leon doesn't move back or do anything more than stare up at him with only slightly worried eyes.

 

“Gonna put this on now, okay?” Chris tells him, keeping Leon's chin tilted up and gently spreading the shaving cream on his jaw, making him wince a little when Chris swipes it above his top lip with a smile. “You're pretty brave.” He murmurs as Leon stands still with his hands by his sides and looks up at him with a mixture of concern and trust that he's never going to be able to forget. The way Leon looks at people sometimes should come with a warning label – he can still picture the way Leon had stared at him just before they'd fought Arias, when they'd been in that bar in Colorado. He'd handed the phone from the informant to Leon and watched his eyes, been able to see exactly what he was feeling, every instant of pain. He doesn't think he'll ever forget that pleading look, as though Leon had just wanted to cry.

 

“Here we go, keep still.” Chris says, knowing Leon can't understand the words but hoping that talking to him is helping to build up some sort of trust. It seems to be working, he's allowed to touch now at least. Leon doesn't resist at all as Chris keep his chin tilted up with one hand and uses the razor with the other, rinsing it under the running tap. The whole time Leon just stares up at him trustingly, keeping still until it's done.

 

“Can I borrow that?” Chris asks once he puts down the razor, holding his hand out for Leon's facecloth. Leon gives it to him reluctantly and he grins, wiping the last of the shaving cream off Leon's jaw and smiling at him, unable to resist running his thumb along the smooth skin. Leon looks a lot younger without the stubble but Chris knows it'll be back in a few days. If he can get Leon used to electronics maybe he can bring his electric razor from home and just keep them both going with a trim, although he can't say he didn't enjoy getting to manhandle Leon a little.

 

When he finally lets go of the smaller man Leon spends the next minute or so running his fingertips over his own face, looking into the mirror and taking a good look at himself while he does it. When he moves on to pinching a lock of his own hair and running his fingertips along his own eyebrows Chris has to wonder if he even recognises himself.

 

“There, that was probably pretty weird for both of us.” Chris says, “Let me show you how to work the shower, I'll let you figure the rest of that one out on your own.” He smiles, opening the glass cubicle in one corner of the large bathroom and switching it on. Leon turns at the sound and comes over, reaching a hand out to touch the warm water and then looking up at him.

 

“You can go first, I'll go get breakfast started.” Chris tells him, miming the action of scrubbing in the shower. Leon watches and then looks back at the water, then down at his own shirt. He takes hold of the hem and looks up at Chris, pulling it up a little, the closest he can get to asking if he should take it off. Chris smiles at him, slightly strained because he can see a strip of Leon's toned stomach and for a second he's really, really tempted to help Leon out.

 

“That's right, I'll get you some clean ones.” Chris nods, smiling. Leon seems to figure out that he has the right idea and abruptly pulls his t-shirt off over his head, looking up at Chris again for confirmation that he's supposed to be doing that. He has a few fading bruises on his ribs down one side and a couple of old scars, one on his shoulder that was definitely a bullet. The muscles of his chest are nicely defined and Chris tries really hard not to notice the dusky pink colour of his nipples, swallowing thickly.

 

“That's...that's right, buddy.” He tells Leon, making a quick exit when Leon seems a little more confident and reaches for his waistband. “I'll, uh, go make us some breakfast.”

 

He escapes, closes the door behind him to let Leon know that he's not supposed to follow. He waits a moment anyway but Leon seems to have figured it out and stays in the bathroom, so he heads over to the kitchen to start some coffee and calm down.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave a comment if there's anything you'd like me to add in for some of the filler, the main plot (if you can call it that) is done but I'm enjoying writing the little domestic moments so there might be a few more, and any suggestions are welcome.  
> I really appreciate the comments/kudos!


	5. Apples

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the lovely comments, I hope you guys are enjoying it. :)

The shower debacle doesn't end too badly – Chris leaves Leon a set of clean clothes to wear and is pleased to see him come out of the bathroom with them already on, glad that he isn't just going to walk around naked and think it's fine. He isn't sure he could handle that.

 

The only tiny hiccup is that Leon doesn't seem to know to dry his hair and it drips onto his shoulders, so Chris grabs a fluffy towel, smiles at him reassuringly and ruffles his hair with it until it's dry. It sticks up all over the place after that but he uses it as an excuse to run his fingers through the damp strands until it's pretty much back in the right style. Leon seems to like having him do that and leans into the touch a little, eyes falling half lidded and his shoulders relaxed. He follows Chris around for a couple of minutes after he's done and Chris gets the impression he's annoyed that it ended, but any more inappropriate touching and he's going to do something they'll both regret later.

 

He's made breakfast anyway – a full English because one of the few personal things he _does_ know about Leon is that breakfast is a pretty big deal for him. They sit in the living room to eat so that Leon can curl up on his armchair instead of standing and the smaller man looks at the plate full of food hungrily, glancing up at Chris to see if it's okay to eat it. 

 

“Go for it, it's the only thing I can cook that has more than two colours so I hope you appreciate it.” Chris smiles, tucking into his own food and enjoying watching Leon try the various things on his plate. Bacon gets a definite yes, although he's wary of the egg when the yolk breaks. He seems to like it after he sees Chris dip his toast into his own egg, copying that and seeming pretty happy with the results. He eats most of it and Chris sips his coffee while he watches Leon pick at the leftovers, figuring he'd better go shopping and get them something more than plain pasta to eat. There isn't much fresh food left in Leon's refrigerator and it'd be nice to get him something to drink that isn't water, maybe juice or milk. Just like a little kid, nothing spicy or sour or too strongly flavoured and no fizzy drinks or alcohol.

 

Definitely no alcohol. The beers in the fridge hadn't been too bad but he'd had to wince when he'd opened the cupboard in the side of the island and found the liquor. Plenty of half full scotch bottles and he had to wonder after Arias if Leon was doing okay. He's pretty sure that Claire calls and checks up on him now and then but she spends a lot of her time working in India these days and if Leon's drinking really was getting a little too much she might not even know it. Yet another thing to keep an eye on when Leon is better, even if Leon doesn't want to ever speak to him again after this. He'll still check up, he's seen too many people in their line of work turn to drink to deal with everything they've seen. Leon has seen more than most even in their business, as well. He'd been younger than Chris during Raccoon City and he'd been alone for a lot of it, that had to have been terrifying for someone without as much training as he'd had.

 

He seems to be alone a lot, Chris feels a little bad for him as he watches Leon move off his chair to sit on the floor, looking at the pictures in a magazine from the rack with his cup of water on the table nearby. He wonders if Leon ever gets lonely, if he sits in this nice, comfy apartment and drinks on his own. If he gets hurt out in the field and then comes back here and doesn't have anyone to make sure he's okay.

 

The thought makes him want to stay near Leon but he needs to head out for a while to pick up his things from his own place, find some reports to work on and grab them some food. It'll also be good to see if Leon can handle being left alone for a while, too. Even so, he still can't resist the urge to touch him one more time – Leon has always been inaccessible and untouchable and even if the gap between them was only a few inches it's always been too far for him to cross. Getting to do it now without having to explain himself is too good an opportunity to pass up.

 

He crouches down next to Leon and tells him that he's going out for a couple of hours, earning only a hollow look in reply that makes it pretty clear that Leon still has no idea what he's saying. He smiles anyway and pets Leon's hair when he gets up, running his fingers through it again once and feeling Leon lean into it. He definitely likes that.

 

“Do you want the TV on?” He asks, flipping it on at a low volume just to give Leon some background noise. Leon looks up at it for a long moment and then takes his magazine and retreats into the bedroom with it, so Chris switches it off. Not a fan of television, then.

 

“I'm going, I'll be back soon.” He calls out as he leaves, figuring that Leon is the quiet, bewildered kind of crazy at the moment and not the destructive, trying to escape kind. Hopefully.

 

Xxx

 

He grabs a few reports and a bag of things from his house quickly and finds a small market near Leon's apartment where he can get some groceries on the way back. It's nice shopping with someone else in mind, it reminds him of looking after Claire years ago, after their parents died. Leon is a lot better behaved than she was, too, but she's turned out great so he can't complain too much. Claire is Leon's oldest friend, he wonders if she ever told him about her goth phase. Perhaps he can show Leon the pictures one day, that might make him laugh.

 

There's plenty of good food in the mini market and he fills the cart with simple, tasty meals that aren't going to be too complicated for him to cook and aren't going to be too harsh for Leon to get on with. It's easy to choose things if he just tries to look at what a kid would eat, although he tries to keep it as healthy as possible because neither of them got into the shape they're in by eating junk food. He adds orange juice and a carton of milk to the cart and tries not to think about the view of Leon's chest he'd gotten that morning,  _definitely_ not dwelling on the shape of Leon's hips or the lean muscles that make him look like he'd be a delight to touch. 

 

Having to look after a really attractive, bewildered but trusting government agent for a couple of weeks is a real exercise in self restraint, he hopes Leon will appreciate it later. Not that Leon is going to know how hard it was not to jump him, but he'd still better be grateful.

 

After grabbing a bag of apples and some bread Chris pays for the groceries and loads them up into the jeep, trying his best not to picture all the catastrophic things that might have happened while he was out. He drives back over to the apartment, praying that Leon hasn't figured out how to use the blender or open the gun safe in the bedroom wall or gotten attached to the kitchen knives.

 

He's glad of his gorilla strength while he carries the shopping and his bag of clothes up to Leon's door, unlocking it and letting himself in, expecting chaos. He's pleasantly surprised to see the place looking as he left it, the only difference being Leon, who hears him as he's bustling in and closing the door. The smaller man emerges from the bedroom and hurries over, looks up at Chris with wide eyes and reaches out, grasping a handful of Chris' t-shirt in one fist and trembling slightly.

 

“Hey,” Chris says softly, putting down the bags and petting Leon's hair, not even feeling weird about doing that to a grown man any more. “I'm back, don't worry. You okay?” He asks, watching Leon slowly calm down, releasing his grip on Chris' shirt after a minute. “Did you think I wasn't coming back?” Chris asks, wanting to hug him but feeling like that might just scare him even more when he doesn't know what it means. He keeps up the gentle fingers through Leon's hair for a minute more instead, smiling at him when Leon looks up again.

 

“I got you some new drinks to try, how about a glass of milk?” Chris asks, letting Leon go and tossing his bag of clothes onto the couch before picking up the shopping bags and dumping them on the kitchen island. Leon watches with silent fascination as he unpacks everything, explaining what it all is just because he knows for sure now that Leon missed him and likes having him around. It's a good feeling and he smiles while he pours out a glass of milk, slicing up an apple to go with it and placing the plate and cup down on the other side of the counter for Leon.

 

“This was Claire's favourite snack until she was what...seventeen? Don't tell anyone, though; she'll kill me.” He grins, watching Leon nervously try the milk and apple. Those seem to get the best response out of anything he's tried so far – he looks up at Chris in surprise at the taste and then eats the apple slices so fast Chris worries he's going to choke.

 

“Slow down, buddy, there's plenty more where that came from. Looks like Jake's rubbed off on you,” he smiles, watching Leon eat everything he was given and then cradle his drink, retreating with it over to his favourite chair to curl up and enjoy it. Chris can imagine him doing the same thing with a cup of coffee after a long day and joins him with a beer once he's finished putting everything away, switching the television on low and glancing over to see if Leon will tolerate it.

 

Leon glances at it but the milk and apple seem to have made him happy so he stays where he is, seemingly wanting to keep Chris where he can see him for fear he might disappear again. They end up watching a documentary about making intricate cakes and it isn't so bad – it's actually the most relaxed Chris has felt in a while. Leon seems to agree, because once his drink is empty he falls asleep quietly and Chris lays a blanket over him, smiling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments/kudos! :D


	6. Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments!  
> I'm sorry in advance for this chapter. >.>

It's been a few days and things have been going pretty smoothly, all things considered. They do keep running out of apples but he figures he can always buy more so it isn't a big deal.

 

When he gets back from his latest quick shopping trip he puts the bags down on the kitchen counter and heads into the bedroom to see if Leon is awake yet. He is, sitting in the corner behind the bed with the closet door cracked open slightly, various trinkets and items on the floor around him. He looks up silently when Chris enters the room, the objects he's found spread out in a pattern.

 

“What do you have there?” Chris asks, “Photos?” He wanders over, interested. There are very few personal things he's seen in Leon's apartment, mostly it's just a comfortable but relatively empty modern space. He gets a clue as to why when he sees the box Leon's trinkets had been hidden in. It'd been in the back of the closet neatly, a cardboard box filled with smaller shoe boxes. Each one of them has a name written on the top and their address or workplace. The outside of the box has Leon's name and _'personal effects, refer to will.'_

 

He sits down on the bed when he reads that, watching Leon sadly. All the things that matter to him are in that box, all neatly divided up to go to the people he knows after he's killed somewhere out there, on some DSO mission. He evidently already has a will with instructions on where the boxes need to go, as well as the addresses on the tops of the individual shoe boxes. It hurts to know how completely Leon believes he's going to die before retiring. It's no wonder he liked to drink, if this was what he saw in his future. Someone collecting these boxes and giving them out to his friends, the people he hardly even gets to see.

 

This wasn't what he'd pictured when he thought about Leon's life.

 

“Always prepared, huh?” He says softly to Leon, who glances once at the boxes and then goes back to what he was doing. He's taken the top shoe box out of the larger box and empted out the contents, arranging them in a pattern. There's a fan of photographs; Chris recognizes most of them but there are a few he doesn't know – a man in a wheelchair and a blonde girl in a sweater and a muscular guy in camo gear with his eyes on a much younger Leon, who stands next to him grinning happily. That one draws his attention more than it should – the look in the soldier's eyes is both fond and possessive as he watches Leon. There's some bond there, some connection he hasn't seen Leon display with anyone.

 

Above the fan of pictures are a few trinkets, a couple of crumpled bullets in a little plastic bag – Chris guesses those were in Leon at some point because he's kept all his own, too. A hunting knife in a worn leather sheath, a dried flower, a hip flask, postcards and letters, a death certificate and a few achievement awards, even Leon's dented police badge from the one day he'd served. It's all arranged neatly and Chris glances at the lid of the empty shoe box. It says _'discard metal, cremate rest.'_

 

He wants to cry, just a little, wishes he could hug Leon without frightening him. He wants to be cremated – most in their line of work do – with this little box of his treasures, pictures of the people he cares about and little things they've given him. He even has one of Sherry's hair bows from back when she was a child, it looks like he's kept every little trinket anyone ever offered. All probably unimportant to everyone else but worth so much to Leon that he wants to keep them with him forever. All those letters and cards and photos. There's even one of him, he can see it. It's just the one from his file but he's smiling, and that's the one Leon has chosen to keep of him. He's in a couple of the group shots as well but Leon obviously doesn't have any other pictures of just him and has gotten a copy of this one. It hurts to know he matters that much, that he's someone Leon cares about even given how much they argue, how much of a jerk he's sometimes been to Leon in the past, how little he's ever really shown he cares.

 

He reaches out and picks up one of the papers stacked neatly next to the postcards – he does it without ruining the pattern Leon has made but still gets a long, hollow look from the smaller man, who watches him and then stares at the paper in his hands. It's the death certificate and it has a picture of the soldier on it. The name says Jack Krauser and that sounds familiar, he's pretty sure he's read it in a report or two. The guy had some contact with Wesker, he remembers that much.

 

“You cared about this Krauser guy, huh?” He says to Leon, who looks back up at him and then at the paper again. Chris doesn't think he understands and continues reading only to feel a tentative tap at his knee a moment later from Leon, who still sits on the floor in front of him. He looks up again and Leon has the photograph, the one with him and Krauser, and puts it on Chris' knee.

 

“Do you miss him?” He asks, even knowing that Leon doesn't speak. Leon picks up the sheathed hunting knife and places it carefully on the floor in front of Chris' feet. “That's his knife?” He asks.

 

Leon touches his own cheek in reply, traces the little scar he's had there for years, looking down at the blade. Chris suddenly wants to touch him as well, wants to connect with him. He reaches out three fingers very slowly, gives Leon plenty of time to back off if he wants. He doesn't, though. He just stays very still and lets Chris trace the ridge of the scar under the fall of his hair, just above the line of his stubble. The whole time he looks up at Chris, watching him for any sign of aggression, tense.

 

“Did you love him?” He finds himself asking, not even really meaning to say it. Leon continues to look up at him from down on his knees with innocent blue eyes, hair falling over one. He can't help himself and brushes it gently aside, traces the scar again and feels the way that Leon relaxes a little when it's clear that no harm is meant. “You're into muscles, good to know.” He finds himself grinning. Leon's eyes follow the movement of his mouth and his fingers twitch for a moment at his side as though he wants to touch. He doesn't, though.

 

Eventually drawing back, Chris glances at the big box, wondering if there's a shoebox inside with his name on it. He's so curious it almost hurts but he knows he has no right to go snooping around in things that Leon wouldn't want him to see, if he was in his right mind. He should be making something for them to eat but he can't stop thinking about it, wondering if Leon would leave him anything, what it might be, what he'd want to say at the very end.

 

“Hey, can I take a look at my box?” He asks, knowing full well that Leon can't answer him, probably doesn't understand what the boxes even are or what Chris wants. Leon probably doesn't remember that he wouldn't want that seen but the rush of guilt is still not enough to outweigh his curiosity. All Leon does is absently take the picture he'd put on Chris' leg and add it carefully back to his pattern, not looking up. When Chris reaches out towards the box, testing, Leon pauses in his somehow deeply important arrangement of his memories and watches, not making any attempt to stop him.

 

The large box slides over and Chris looks to Leon for a moment, raising his eyebrows in an _'_ okay?' Leon watches the movement and then looks at the box for a long moment, unreadable as ever. Taking that as a sign to go ahead, he looks down at the box and lifts out the top layer of shoe boxes – Claire, someone he's never heard of with a long name that just has 'Buddy' written next to it, Sherry. He wants to open Sherry's box for some reason, wants to know what Leon would have to say to the girl who is almost his daughter. He knows what's going to be inside, though. He can hear it when he moves the box, the jingle of keys. His car and his apartment, probably, spare keys in case his body is never recovered.

 

Underneath Sherry's box is his own. It's strangely startling seeing his own name there, he half thought that Leon wouldn't have made one for him. It isn't like he'd ever really given Leon the time of day outside needing his help. He'd never invited Leon over to his place, never asked him out to get a drink, never really treated him like a friend. It hurts, then, to open the box and see a set of keys to Leon's bike, the one vehicle he's never gotten a scratch on. There's a letter as well and he picks it up, glances at Leon.

 

“Can I read it?” He asks. Leon watches him silently for a moment before picking up the hunting knife, holding it to his chest like it's important to him, like it gives him comfort somehow. He looks away then, goes back to sorting his photographs, running his fingers gently over the faces of people he recognizes while he still holds the leather-sheathed knife against his chest.

 

Chris takes that as permission, unfolds the letter. It's handwritten, which makes him imagine Leon sitting at his desk late one night with a bottle of scotch, maybe when things were particularly bad, writing down all the things he knows he can never tell people while he's still alive.

 

_Chris,_

_The keys to my baby should be in your box. Take care of her for me, she's the only thing I never wrecked. There's a dust sheet if you just wanna store her, or give her to Jake when he calms down enough not to crash her. My Silver Ghost is yours as well if they find it, that gun got me out of some tight scrapes. I know you prefer your AR but maybe you can use it as a lucky charm._

_Look after Sherry as well, I know Jake is gonna be around for her but check up on her for me? If I'm gone by the time she gets married tell her I'm proud of her and I always was._

_I'm sorry I was a jerk to you. Every time I see you I know I'm doing this wrong but I never know what to say to you. I know I got on your last nerve and I was a difficult bastard. I hope I made up for it in the field, I hope I was someone you could rely on to have your back. I hope I still am, right up until you have to read this._

_I wish we could've been friends. Real friends. I'm sorry things never worked out that way, Jack used to tell me it'd take a saint to deal with me and he knew me better than anyone. If I never mentioned him he was my old partner, years ago. He won't be at my funeral, don't worry._

_I hope you have a good life, Chris. You deserve it, you've saved more lives than anyone and Claire always said you'd save the world some day. I believed her, and I'll be believing her right up until the end. But don't end up like me, okay? Have a family, fall in love. Don't end up alone. Keep smiling, you've always been a light in the dark for people. Even me. Whenever it all got too much for me I knew you were out there somewhere and that you could still laugh, and smile, and people still loved you. Knowing that made me feel like I could carry on, even if you never knew it._

_Look after everyone, keep them safe._

_Leon._

 

 

When he's done reading he folds the paper back into the box and wipes his eyes, tries to swallow down the painful urge to sob that's stuck in his throat. The tears don't want to stop for a few moments and he feels foolish, can't remember the last time he actually cried. Leon turns to glance at him and goes still, watches as he wipes his eyes again and forces a shaky smile.

 

“I'm okay.” He says, ragged. Leon watches for another long moment and then moves, gets up on his knees and reaches out, touches the wetness on Chris' face with his fingertips and then touches his own cheeks, trying to understand it. The tears gradually stop as he watches Leon investigate them silently, distracted from his grief over Leon's feelings towards him. He'd never known, never had any idea Leon thought so kindly of him. His own will is nowhere near this well planned out, Leon has obviously thought about and readied for his death on a mission down to the last detail. He doesn't even remember if he left Leon anything except a few cursory words, even the thought of Leon seeing that makes him hurt now.

 

He watches Leon for a while longer, sitting obediently while Leon uses gentle palms to wipe away the dampness on his cheeks, not seeming to like it. Eventually Chris brings up a hand, touches Leon's jaw gently and brings those unreadable blue eyes up to meet his.

 

“Wanna be my friend, Leon?” He asks softly, running his thumb over the stubble on Leon's jaw. “We should have a beer and watch a game together some time.”

 

Leon watches his lips move and then looks back up at him, not understanding. Instead he silently reaches out and brushes his fingertips along one of Chris' eyebrows, tracing it gently before moving away to go back to his photographs.

 

“I'll hold you to that when you're better.” Chris murmurs, noticing a few more papers in the bottom of his box, under the keys. He picks them out, a little bundle of nine or ten blank postcards wrapped in a single scrap of paper. Each one shows a different place Leon has been during his assignments over the years – some of them over a decade old. He's confused for a moment until he turns the scrap of paper over.

 

_These are all the postcards I bought you. I know it's stupid. I used to buy one every time I ended up somewhere interesting. I thought I'd send it to you at the BSAA, you'd get it on your desk and maybe it'd make you laugh. I never sent any of them, I'd always talk myself out of it. After a few years it was too late, we didn't get on well enough for me to just send you a 'wish you were here' from Brazil out of the blue. I didn't think you'd find it funny any more but I kept buying them. A few of them ended up on fire or at the bottom of rivers or covered in blood, you know how it goes. These are the ones that made it back with me in one piece, maybe you might still get a kick out of them. Just imagine I wrote all my adventures on the backs and then had to redact most of it._

 

 

That almost has him in tears again. He has to hunch over the little stack of cards with his head in his hands, trying to imagine that Leon had filled them all in and then blacked out most of it. He really would have loved that, to get into work and find one of those on his desk.

 

“Send me a postcard when you're better, okay?” He says to Leon in a ragged voice. “Wherever you go next. Don't be...don't be afraid I'm not gonna like you. I'm so sorry I let you think that, Leon.” He wipes his eyes again and Leon glances up at him, holds out a picture. It's the picture of him from his file and Leon looks at him with the serious look he has on his face all the time now, unable to smile or laugh or make so much as a sound himself. He uses one finger to trace the line of Chris' smile in his picture though. He does that three times before putting the photograph back where it was and continuing with his arrangement.

 

“Yeah.” Chris says softly. “I know. I will.” He promises, wrapping the little bundle of cards back together and placing it back in the box with the heartbreaking letter and the motorcycle keys. He replaces the lid and moves to put it back into the larger box when he glances at what was underneath it and pauses. The very last shoe box is older and more battered than the others. On the lid it says the word 'burn' but above that, crossed out, it says 'Jack'.

 

Leon doesn't seem to be paying him any attention, moving the photographs around into different orders and touching them as though it can help him remember all these people he cares about. Chris watches him for a moment and then guiltily takes the old box out, waiting for Leon to notice when he sets it on his lap.

 

Eventually Leon glances his way, notices the box and pauses. He runs his hollow gaze over it, every battered inch, and then looks up at Chris with worried eyes.

 

“You want me to put it back?” He asks softly. Leon chews his lip a moment and then lowers his eyes, turns away a little to go back to his photos. His shoulders are tense though and Chris keeps an eye on him as he takes off the lid to the box.

 

Inside are papers. Pictures as well, in a little stack, dog eared enough that Chris knows they must have meant a lot to Leon. He lifts those out first, takes in the image of Leon and Krauser in a desert somewhere together. They're both laying on a sand dune pretending to sunbathe, arms behind their heads and ankles crossed, grinning like idiots. Just seeing it makes Chris smile and he feels a little better, guiltily finding his eyes straying to Leon's bare chest in the sun, his happy grin, sunglasses in his blonde hair.

 

He expects more of the same for the next picture, flips the first one to the bottom of the little pile and pauses when he sees that this one is back in the US. They're at some bar and Leon is taking the picture, holding the camera up and leaning back against Krauser's huge arm. There's a birthday cake on the bar top and Krauser is drinking a bottle of beer, picking paper streamers out of Leon's hair with an expression of fond exasperation. Chris wonders how close they were, if Leon ever sent Krauser postcards. He'd asked if Leon had loved Krauser but he hadn't really processed that it might be true.

 

The next photo answers that question for him. It's snowing in the picture and he isn't sure who took it because Leon and Krauser are both standing on a balcony under a sprig of what he assumes must be mistletoe. It's night and there are coloured lights all over the place, and Leon is leaning up, one arm around Krauser's thick neck, eyes closed. Krauser is kissing him, one hand on his hip and the other buried in his hair, cupping his skull. There's nobody else around and Chris stares at the picture, feeling a little too hot, stomach fluttering strangely at the sudden confirmation that Leon has at least kissed a man before. He turns the picture over and on the back in purple ink it reads _Careful, boys. Don't get caught! - Ada_.

 

The picture is over fifteen years old, Chris wonders what would have happened if Leon's bosses had known who he'd been kissing back then. He'd been wise to keep it a secret, especially considering what happened to Krauser in the end. It makes Chris wonder if Leon ever slept with him, if that was just a one time deal because of the mistletoe or if they actually had a real relationship. It makes him almost apprehensive about looking at the next photo but it answers his question, even as it makes his eyes widen.

 

Ada again, certainly, confirmed by the same purple ink on the back of the next three photos, all the same message.

 

_You really do make it too easy, boys. Enjoy the pictures. <3_

 

In the first one Krauser is sitting on the couch and Leon is riding him, naked and lit only by the orange glow of the street light outside whatever apartment they're in. Krauser has his big hands on Leon's hips and is guiding him but it's Leon's face Chris can't stop looking at. Leon has his head thrown back and he's clutching at Krauser's shoulders, in the middle of crying out something. If he isn't coming in the picture he's close and Krauser is watching him, eyes as hungry as Chris feels. He can't stop staring at Leon's body, every perfect inch of him. It makes him ache to see the next picture and he isn't disappointed – this one has Leon on his knees against the headboard of the bed being fucked into by Krauser, skin flushed and eyes half lidded in bliss as he gasps in pleasure, clearly very much enjoying it.

 

The last picture is in the bed. Krauser is over Leon and the smaller man is laying beneath him, looking up at his lover with lust-blown eyes, hair a mess and bite marks on his throat. He looks so good like that, so beautiful, and Chris is shocked by how much he just _wants_ Leon for himself, how jealous he is of Krauser, who threw all that away for power.

 

The final photo is from later, no message on the back of this one except a little heart in Ada's style. In it Krauser and Leon are asleep together, looking as though they're very much in love. Chris puts the pictures down quickly, heart thudding a little faster than he likes, and picks up the top sheet from the pile in the box instead, hoping it'll distract him. To his surprise it looks recent but he knows Krauser has been dead for over a decade. It's Leon's neat handwriting again, although a little messier than it had been in his letter from Chris' box. Chris sees why when he starts to read it, his breath catching.

 

 

_Broke my arm today, Jack. Big, crazy viral bastard called Arias picked me up like a rag doll and squeezed. Felt the bones go, but I could still just about hold my gun until the adrenaline wore off. I hate it when the pain hits. You remember after Hidalgo, patching each other up in that hotel? I could've done with your help after today, you dead son of a bitch._

_I disappointed Chris again. I should've just said yes, just gone and done it and gotten it over with. I just wanted to drink, I know it's selfish. I'd just been through so much shit already, I just wanted to forget that fucking virus for a while. Rebecca got taken and infected because I screwed around for too long, though. Chris saved the day in the end and I shut my damn trap and did my job. I don't think it made him warm up to me any, though._

_Christ, my arm hurts. I should've asked Chris if the BSAA's medics could take a look at it before I left but I thought I was gonna pass out and he didn't need that. I got it fixed when I got back here, anyway. I'm waiting for the painkillers to kick in so I figured I'd write you again._

_How's hell, Jack? Do you still have the plaga down there or are you back? I fucking hate those things. Nobody is ever gonna know how much I hate them. I hope Wesker is down there frying right next to you for putting that thing in you and taking you away from me. And you can burn in hell for letting him, you stupid bastard._

_I miss you. It's been thirteen years and I still don't know why you're not right next to me when I wake up, telling me I'm a handful. Are you still waiting for me down there? Only a few more years, Jack. I'm gonna start slowing down sooner or later, I'm not twenty any more. Something's gonna get me, all I can do is keep going until it does. All I can do is keep trying to put a dent in this endless shit and hope Chris really can save the world._

 

_Wish me a painless end, Jack, and I'll see you when I'm too slow to get away._

 

The others in the pile are all similar, shaky letters to a dead man going back years. Chris had no idea, not even an inkling that Leon was hurting this much, that he seemed to spend so much of his life just expecting to die and planning for it.

 

He doesn't read any of the other letters, just places them back in the box with the photographs and packs it all back up, Leon watching him silently as he puts it all back in the closet neatly. When he's done he looks down and Leon has put his pictures in a little pile and is sitting quietly, waiting.

 

“You always looked like you were hurting. I wish I'd asked.” Chris says softly, bending down and holding out a hand. Leon gives him the usual wary once over before offering his, taking the help to get up and stand. “Let's go get something to eat on the balcony, okay? I could use some fresh air and coffee.” Chris suggests, keeping hold of Leon's hand and leading him into the kitchen. Leon goes willingly and when Chris opens the balcony doors the smaller man moves to sit on the ground in the shade, looking down at the cars passing far below through the bars of the rail.

 

“I hope sandwiches are okay. As one bachelor to another, you know how it is.” He comments, putting the shopping away and whipping up a plate of sandwiches with different fillings. He adds a few slices of apple to the plate and carries it out along with his coffee and a glass of milk for Leon.

 

Instead of sitting at the table and trying to make Leon do the same even when he clearly doesn't like chairs, Chris sits next to him on the floor and puts the plate between them, grinning at the way Leon scans the offerings and immediately homes in on the apple.

 

“Apple's all yours, buddy. Jake would be proud.” Chris smiles. Leon glances up at him for confirmation before taking a slice, looking as pleased as he ever gets without being able to smile. He eats delicately and Chris leans back against the wall, sips his coffee and watches the city as he thinks about how alone and depressed Leon evidently was. Every one of Leon's little comments about not knowing how much more he could take or how much longer they could keep carrying on come back to him. He'd brushed them all off and now he knows what they'd meant it really brings home how long Leon has been this messed up.

 

He feels a tap against his arm then and blinks back to himself only to realise that he's been staring aimlessly at nothing for longer than he'd realised. Leon has eaten a few sandwiches and most of the apple, although there's one slice left. Leon has that in one hand and taps him again once, holds it up for him. He smiles and takes it, heart hurting that even now, even like this, Leon is kind. That he thinks he's going to hell when he dies is awful and Chris eats the apple slowly, makes plans to start trying to connect with Leon as soon as he's better. Perhaps they could do more than just connect, if Leon would ever consider him that way. He knows it isn't impossible now that he's seen the photographs and he more than likes the idea.

 

“You full now?” He asks, surprised when Leon looks up at him and then does something he hasn't done before – gently leans against his shoulder and stays that way, tired. Chris smiles and brushes fingers slowly through his hair, petting him as though Leon is a wild animal whose trust he's gained. He just wishes it was this easy to connect with Leon when he knows what's going on.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls forgive.  
> I'm all about sad Leon, though. He's the poster boy for attractive misery.


	7. Bath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments! The bath scene was by request, I hope it's okay.  
> Sorry for making you cry Dbp97! XD I think this one is a little happier.

The day after reading Leon's heartbreaking letters Chris stays in with him, just polishing up a few reports and staying near the smaller agent, who brings his little pile of photographs out into the living room and spreads them out on the floor, making patterns with them. Doing that seems deeply important to him so Chris leaves him to it, glancing over every now and then to make sure he's okay and occasionally bringing him a glass of milk or some snacks. 

Once his reports are done he shuffles them into a stack and watches Leon for a while, thinking about all the things he knows now, all the loneliness and longing, all the kindness inside him. It's hard not to get his hopes up now, after seeing proof that Leon has had a relationship with a man in the past and doesn't seem to have a problem with it. Krauser might have been it for Leon but Chris knows he has to try, when Leon is back to his old self. He doesn't just want to let things go back to the way they used to be, doesn't want to imagine Leon buying him another postcard and then never sending it, wanting so much to connect with him but not believing it'll ever happen.

He really would have loved to get one of those postcards on his desk. It would've made him smile but he'd never given Leon any indication of that. He's probably yelled at Leon more than he's ever smiled at him, at least up until Leon was infected. Sometimes when he smiles to try and reassure Leon now the smaller man touches his own lips and stares up at him like there's something special about it, like Chris smiling is important to him, like it's something he wants. 

Leon looks up at him then and studies his face for a long moment before picking his picture out from the photos, taking it out of the arrangement he's making and just placing it next to him instead. Chris hopes that's a good thing, hopes it means that Leon doesn't need to struggle to remember him like he does with the other pictures. 

One of the pictures is a photograph of President Adam Benford in a suit, smiling in the fatherly way he had. Leon holds that one for a moment and then places it with the picture of Krauser. He seems to know that they're both gone, removing both of them from his arrangement as well, placing them to one side. He has the metal bottle cap from a cola Chris was drinking earlier and a leaf from one of the potted plants on the balcony, he places the little trinkets on top of those two photos carefully, like an offering.

He goes back to arranging the other photographs after that and Chris sighs quietly, wondering what's going on in Leon's head and hoping that when he's cured they'll still have the bond they've been developing while Leon has been viral. He isn't sure what he'd do if Leon didn't want to be near him any more, it's only been a week but he's gotten used to having the smaller man's quiet presence near him. When he has to go out he feels odd about it, like Leon is supposed to be with him. It probably isn't good to get so attached so quickly but he knows it's too late now to try and stop. All he wants in the world is for Leon to be able to smile at him, and to give him a reason to.

After another half an hour of watching Leon's careful patterns and the way he runs his fingertips over the photos, Chris decides that a bath would probably help him relax a little. The letters he knows are in the closet are still fresh in his mind and he never wants to think about Leon sitting and writing any more messages to that dead bastard Krauser. He shouldn't have to do that, not any more. 

He leaves Leon to his pictures and runs the bath, soaks for a while until he hears Leon padding about in the other room. There are enough bubbles in the bath thanks to Leon's expensive products that he doesn't feel too awkward when Leon tentatively opens the door and wanders in, investigating what he's up to. The bath seems to surprise him and he takes it in for a long moment before looking up at Chris, confused.

“This is the laying down version of the shower. You like the shower, right?” He tries to explain, “it's just warm water.”

Leon pads over and sits down by the side of the bath, looking over the edge, tracking the bubbles until Chris flicks a little foam at him. He rears back from it for a moment but when the white bubbles slowly float down to land on the edge of the bath he leans in and inspects it carefully.

“Bubbles are your friend, buddy. You'd be getting an eyeful right now if it wasn't for them, having a bath isn't usually a spectator sport.” Chris tells him, earning a blank stare before Leon reaches out with one hand and touches the little clump of bubbles.

When he's worked out the texture and it hasn't attacked him or made any loud noises Leon uses one palm to flatten the bubbles with a soft smack, looking at his palm afterwards and then up at Chris, as though he can explain where they went.

“You know Claire woulda had you dressed up in a cat costume by now if she saw you acting like this.” Chris mentions. “You want a bath? Wanna give it a try?” He asks, watching Leon staring longingly at the bubbles as though he wants to get in. “Hand me a towel and we'll run you a fresh one, okay?” He asks, pointing at the towel on the side of the counter. Leon follows his gesture and fetches him his toothbrush at first, which he takes with a fond smile and places to one side. 

“The towel, buddy. Big fluffy thing that stops me traumatizing you when I get outta the bath.” He points again and Leon picks it up uncertainly, brings it over and hands it to him. Chris smiles and Leon relaxes a little, knowing he got it right from the expression.

“Good job, Leon. Oh hey, look at that. It's more bubbles.” Chris says, scooping up a few more bubbles and handing them to Leon, who takes them in confusion and looks down at them. Chris uses the distraction to quickly get out of the bath and wrap the towel around his waist, leaning over to drain the tub and drying himself off with one of the other fluffy towels Leon has stacked up in his bathroom.

When he finishes drying his hair he looks over and Leon is watching him, staring at his chest and shoulders with slightly wide eyes. Chris is pretty sure he can see a slight flush on Leon's cheeks as well and he grins, raising his eyebrows.

“Like what you see?” He asks, flexing one arm and watching Leon follow the bulge of the muscle and then quickly duck his head to his behind his hair, making Chris laugh. “You really are into muscles, huh?” He grins, running the water again for Leon's bath. “Wish I'd known that sooner.”

The bath fills up quickly and Leon watches it while Chris pulls on some clothes, adding some bubble bath in and turning off the taps when it's full.

“There you go, all yours.” He tells Leon, gesturing to the tub. Leon seems to understand, since most things that Chris does he gets to do as well once he's seen how it works. He starts stripping and Chris hurries out, trying to resist the urge to look. He's a good man but he's not a saint, so after a few minutes he grabs some clean clothes for Leon to sleep in and takes them into the bathroom for him.

Leon is sitting in the bath with bubbles surrounding him, hair damp and in the process of – from what Chris can tell – trying to touch the bubbles gently enough that the foam doesn't move. His chest and back are shiny from the water and Chris puts his clothes down on the counter by the sink and tries not to stare. He fails pretty spectacularly and ends up watching Leon for a couple of minutes, doing his best not to imagine what it would feel like to run his hands down Leon's sides and pull him in for a kiss, to have Leon look up at him and want it just as much as he does. At the back of Leon's neck where his hair is a little longer it curls ever so slightly and Chris has never been so attracted to something so innocent in his life. He wants to reach out, pinch that curl of hair between his fingers and gently tug Leon's head back by it to kiss him, slide a hand down his soaking wet chest and into the water, watch him feel good. He's seen those photos of Leon with Krauser, knows what he looks like when he's gasping and flushed and hungry for it. He wants to see for himself, though, not just find out second hand from a picture. 

He has to head back out to grab a coffee after a few minutes, not wanting Leon to think he's as creepy as he feels like he's being. Not that Leon seems to care but he doesn't really know how comfortable Leon is with even being touched by him. Sure, he seems to like having Chris stroke his hair but other than that they haven't ever hugged or done more than just sleep with Leon curled against his back. That could just be for warmth as well, he has no idea if Leon actually wants to be that close to him.

TV seems like a better option for the time being. TV and trying not to think about Leon naked.

Xxx

Leon has just gotten out of the bath – he's always been a well-groomed guy and it seems to have carried over. He seemed to enjoy the bath from what Chris saw, and from the amount of products in Leon's bathroom it looks like he always did. Something to tease him about later, Chris thinks, when he's okay again.

Leon's hair is damp and he pads quietly over to the couch where Chris is sitting, looking around the room, then at the quietly murmuring television, and then the seat next to Chris instead of his usual armchair.

“You wanna sit down?” Chris guesses, patting the place next to him. Leon watches his hand and then looks up at him with those unreadable eyes for a long moment before taking the invitation, moving in that careful, precise way he has to sit a little closer than Chris had intended, not that he minds. Leon brings his bare feet up and tucks them under himself, leaning against Chris' shoulder like it's completely normal, blue eyes glancing up at him once before settling blankly on the coffee table between them and the television. 

Chris supposes it's fine, he definitely doesn't mind having the smaller man curled against him. It reminds him of Claire whenever she visits; she's often told him he's like a furnace with all the muscles and maybe Leon is enjoying the warmth after getting out of the bath. It's good to have his earlier worries waylaid – Leon apparently does like being close to him.

It's hard to concentrate on the show he was watching with Leon so close, though. The smaller man doesn't seem to be interested in the TV at all, he barely gives it a cursory glance before looking down at the table instead and letting himself relax a little. His eyes fall half lidded and Chris discreetly watches him slowly fall asleep over the next half hour, his head nodding forward and his breath evening out. It's pretty cute, Chris feels a swell of pride at the fact that Leon must feel safe with him to fall asleep on him like that.

He doesn't want to wake Leon up and risk never having him feel comfortable enough to do this again so he stays where he is, getting comfy and eventually muting the television when it gets late. Leon doesn't stir much, just the odd shift now and then against him and he closes his own eyes, resolving to never tell anyone about this later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos if you're enjoying it, or let me know if it's getting boring!


	8. Lab Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few more chapters to go! I've never seen Chobits, Chi is like Leon? I should watch it, cute and confused characters are fun. Krauser isn't coming back I'm afraid, he's perma-dead in this one (sad Leon is best Leon). I like Krauser/Leon though so I might write something for those two next. Everything I write with Krauser in turns into a NSFW one-shot. O.o
> 
> Sorry if the scenes in this are a bit choppy btw, a lot of the filler bits are just written separately when I have time and then pieced together later in between any actual plot (if you can even call it that, it's like 90% weird fluff).

Chris doesn't know that Leon is behind the kitchen island, sitting quietly on the floor with his back against it, sorting his photographs as usual. He's silent as ever and Chris almost forgets he's in the room at all as he does the washing up, thinking about a couple of corrections he needs to make on some reports and generally working on autopilot. Rebecca had called earlier in the day and asked if he could bring Leon by the lab for a quick blood test if he felt like the smaller man was up for a ride in the jeep without being sedated, and he'd figured he'd better clean up after lunch before he gave that a try.

Everything is fine until he stacks the plates too high. He isn't paying attention and after he washes each piece of crockery he sets it on the counter so that he can dry them afterwards, not noticing that his little tower of four or five plates isn't quite as stable as he thinks. Just as he's wondering how Leon will react to seeing other people again the plates slide an inch or so to one side and knock a nearby mug off the counter – he jumps when he hears it shatter on the ground on the other side of the kitchen island, cursing in annoyance.

There's a sound then, shuffling, and Chris' eyes widen when he realises that Leon was sitting right there with his pictures, lost in trying to sort them into a pattern that will somehow help him remember himself. At least, that's what Chris always assumes he's doing. Either way, Leon was in the line of fire and Chris quickly dries his hands and rushes to the other side of the counter only to find that Leon is a few feet away, clutching his photographs and looking away from the broken shards of china.

“Hey, are you okay? I'm sorry, I knocked a cup off the side. Did you get cut?” Chris asks, moving over and crouching down in front of Leon, who won't look at him. He gives the smaller man a quick once-over and sure enough there's a smudge of blood on his t-shirt at one shoulder. 

“Is your shoulder hurt?” He asks, reaching out slowly and brushing Leon's shoulder near where the blood is. Leon flinches away from him and shakes his head, not wanting to be touched and keeping his eyes down. “I need to see, buddy. Can I take a look? I promise I'll be gentle.” 

Leon listens to his words – or at least his voice - and doesn't seem happy, curled in on himself and hiding behind his hair as much as he can. He seems to understand that he's not allowed to hide it, though, and when Chris touches his shoulder again he tentatively unfolds his arms and holds out one hand. Across the back of his hand is a small cut, only an inch or so long. The bleeding is already stopping and Leon keeps hold of his pictures with his other hand, risking a look up at Chris through his hair. 

“It got on your shirt, huh? Well, this doesn't look too bad, I'll clean this for you and we'll wrap it up, okay?” He smiles, trying to be reassuring. Leon takes note of the expression and seems to relax a little, seeming to understand that Chris isn't going to react negatively. 

The first aid kit is in the bathroom and Chris grabs it, sitting next to Leon and letting him put his precious photographs aside in a neat stack before gently cleaning the cut. It must sting but Leon doesn't react at all, unconcerned with the wound itself. Wrapping a bandage around it seems like a better option than just a wound pad and tape, since Leon might pull it off if he doesn't like it. Chris wraps his hand gently and then pats his knuckles twice when it's done, smiling again.

“There. All better.” He announces, expecting Leon to go back to his pictures. The smaller man looks down at his own hand for a few moments and then reaches out and pulls at the sleeve of Chris' t-shirt gently as he makes to get up. “What's up?” Chris asks, settling back down again since it's rare for Leon to be the one to initiate any kind of interaction. 

Even more surprising is when Leon takes the little roll of bandages and Chris' hand, looking down carefully at his work as he tries to copy what's just been done to him, wrapping the white gauze around Chris' palm. When he's done he pats Chris on the back of the hand twice, looking up at him.

Chris looks down at the bandage around his own hand and grins, finding it oddly sweet of Leon to try and return the favour. 

“Thanks,” he says, holding up his hand and wiggling his fingers, smiling when Leon copies him. That doesn't seem to be the end of it, though and he watches Leon carefully unwrap a strip of gauze and wrap it around his own head, too loose to be effective for anything. He holds it just above one ear as it droops down over his hair, looking silently up at Chris with his expectant blue eyes. 

“You want a bandage there too?” Chris asks, kneeling up and taking the gauze. “Did you get hurt here?” He figures out, gently running his fingers through Leon's soft hair, trying to find a bump. Leon enjoys the touch and Chris feels him relax, closing his eyes and leaning slightly towards Chris until he finds the bump he's looking for and the smaller man flinches.

“Sorry, it's okay, I'm just checking,” Chris reassures, feeling the little bump and surmising that it isn't too bad. There's no blood but he gently ties the gauze there anyway because it's easier than trying to get Leon to understand that he doesn't need a bandage for that kind of injury. Leon seems happy to have it and sits still while Chris tucks his hair back into place over the fabric.

“Another mark for my 'Leon is actually a rescue puppy' theory – you really do like getting pet.” Chris murmurs with a smile, stroking his fingers through Leon's hair a few more times until the agent's eyes slide closed again. It's a pleasant surprise when Leon gradually moves to lean against him, trusting, and tilts his head up into the touches. He really does look like a pet that way and Chris tries not to think anything inappropriate, tries to keep his affection for the damaged agent innocent. 

He doesn't pick up the broken cup for another hour because Leon falls asleep against him, blonde lashes fluttering as he dreams. Chris finds himself leaning back comfortably against the wall and just watching Leon, trying to reconcile this innocent, trusting creature with the pessimistic, defensive man he knows. The Leon he knows isn't the Leon everyone else knows, though. Not the one Claire and Sherry know. He's never gotten to see that version; the happy, relaxed Leon. He's only ever seen the mask Leon wears around him and it's strange to have the smaller man begin to trust him. Of course, he knows that Leon trusts him with his life every time they work in the field together, it's his feelings that Leon doesn't trust him to handle. He's never been happy showing vulnerability around Chris so having the tough, competent DSO agent asleep against him and completely defenceless is wonderful. Some sort of first step, he thinks, on the path to having Leon trust him that much when he's in his right mind.

 

Xxx

 

He has to wake Leon up after an hour or so for the trip to see Rebecca, not sure how the smaller man is going to react to the world outside his apartment. He's only had that limited space and Chris for over a week and it's going to be pretty weird for him. He's seen cars and people from up on the balcony so at least he knows something about what to expect, but Chris gives him a pep talk first just in case.

He knows Leon can't understand him but maybe the tone of his voice will be soothing. He hopes so as he helps Leon put on a hoodie and zip it up halfway, pulling up the hood and smiling when Leon raises both hands to it and stares at him in confusion.

“You don't want to get recognized by anyone you know right now, trust me on this.” Chris tells him. Leon doesn't know what he's saying but seems okay with the hood, soon losing interest in it when Chris opens the door to the apartment. Leon stays inside as usual and looks down at his feet, at the sneakers Chris laced up for him, probably expecting him to leave. 

“You're coming with me this time,” Chris tells him gently, holding out a hand for Leon, who stares at him for a long moment and then cautiously steps out of the safety of his apartment, taking Chris' hand like that's a normal thing for a grown man to do. Not that anything else Leon's been doing for the past week has been normal.

“Good job, that's step one.”

Chris locks the door and leads Leon down the halls to the elevator, half of him hoping that they don't run into any of Leon's surprisingly quiet neighbours and the other half of him dreading how Leon is going to react to the elevator.

He doesn't need to worry about that too much, though. Leon follows him inside without a fuss, looking at the big mirror in the back and clearly wanting to touch the buttons. He doesn't get the chance because the elevator starts to descend and he definitely feels it, pressing himself against Chris' side with wide, worried eyes and staying like that until it stops. 

“It's okay, it's just quicker than the stairs.” Chris tells him, taking a chance and wrapping a big arm around Leon's back to guide him out. Leon stares up at him questioningly for a moment but soon gets distracted again by the lobby, not objecting to the touch. It makes it easier to gently herd him out of the building while he looks around suspiciously at everything and Chris wonders if some day Leon will let him do that when he has all his faculties. Hopefully. Having an arm around Leon really highlights how well the smaller man fits against him and Chris can feel every twitch and startled tense that goes through him when he sees a car or hears a loud noise on the way to the parking spots.

They get to the jeep without incident and Chris opens the door for Leon, helping him up into the passenger seat when he doesn't seem to know what he's supposed to do.

“Safety first,” Chris tells him as he leans over and clips in Leon's seatbelt. “I don't know if you remember but you don't have the best track record in moving vehicles. If I ever get you to warm up to me when you're not acting like you're new to the planet we're gonna have to have a talk about your driving. Not that you'll listen to me, you never do.” Chris smiles, heading around to the driver's side and getting in. True to his words, Leon is playing with the buttons on the air conditioning instead of even pretending to listen to what he was saying. One of the vents starts blowing cold air at him the moment Chris turns the key in the ignition and Leon looks so startled for a moment that he has to grin.

“Whose fault was that, huh?” He asks, turning it off for him and peeling out onto the road. Leon stares accusingly at him for a moment and then gets distracted once again, this time by the scenery. That seems to keep him busy for most of the journey and it's kind of cute how fascinated he is with watching the traffic.

“Look at all those cars you haven't crashed yet.”

Leon gives him a sideways glance and continues looking out of the window, following a motorbike that zips past.

“Last time I worked with you, you rode one of those up a bunch of stairs, then into an elevator, then off the roof of a skyscraper into a giant monster.” Chris tells him conversationally. “Then you shot the gas tank and blew it up in his face. When you're not being a space cadet you're pretty much a maniac all the time.” He grins. “I should read you some of your own reports as a bedtime story one night, it's crazy how many buildings you've managed to find the self-destruct button for.”

Leon still doesn't understand his words but Chris is sure he's looking pleased with himself as they pull up at the university where Rebecca's lab is, getting out of the jeep as it starts to get dark. Leon looks up at the sky worriedly as Chris leads him inside, staying close on the way down the dimly-lit halls.

“It's okay, the scariest thing in this building is Rebecca.” Chris tells Leon, who looks up at him like he's not sure. Chris hopes he's going to be okay having a blood test – he still has the little bandage on his hand from earlier. The one around his head is gone – Chris had taken it off while he was helping Leon put on his hoodie because he didn't want Rebecca to think he'd been letting Leon get hurt. He still feels guilty about the cup.

They get to the end of the long corridor that led up from the side parking lot and Chris buzzes the door, Rebecca's face appearing on the little keypad screen with a smile after a few seconds. Leon stares up at her with wide eyes as she greets them, suddenly looking very worried.

“Hey, what's up? Are you okay?” Chris asks as the door opens, concerned over how pale Leon had gone at seeing Rebecca, who invites them into the bright lab. She's wearing her lab coat and Leon stares at it as Chris leads him inside, starting to tremble.

“Chris? What's going on? Is Leon okay?” Rebecca asks instead of whatever she was planning on saying, noticing that Leon is staring around the place with terrified eyes, cringing back against Chris' side.

“I don't know, he was fine a minute ago. He spent most of the ride over just watching cars and screwing about with the A/C,” Chris supplies, confused. 

Rebecca lets the door close behind them and leads them further into the lab, noticing the way Leon has one hand gripping the sleeve of Chris' jacket like a lifeline. Neither of them understand why until they round a corner and the cage becomes visible, the three infected inside immediately noticing Leon, who sees them and looks like he's going to pass out. They start to snarl and claw for him, falling over each other to scratch and snap their teeth against the glass closest to Leon, who shakes his head and stumbles back in fear.

“Leon, Leon, it's okay, they're not gonna hurt you,” Chris tries, moving towards Leon slowly. The smaller man's wide eyes flick to him and then back to the cage, and before Chris can do anything about it Leon bolts. He scrambles for the door, finds it locked and starts frantically yanking on the handle, breathing in quick, panicked gasps.

“Oh,” Rebecca says softly, upset. “He must think we're going to put him back in with them.” 

Chris feels coldness well up in him at that and he rushes over to Leon, tries to get him to calm down, touches his shoulder through the hoodie and promises they won't hurt him or make him go back in the cage. Leon doesn't understand, though, and flinches away from him, knocking over a stack of empty medical trays with a clatter as he scrambles away into the corner where he can't see the cage.

Chris can't get near him, feeling terrible that he hadn't thought Leon would remember the place. He hadn't expected Leon to be so terrified but it made sense – the other infected wanted to do far worse than kill him after all. He spends the next few minutes trying to get close to Leon but the smaller man won't let him, cringing away until Rebecca sighs sadly and disappears for a moment, a needle in her hand when she comes back.

“Leon, I'm sorry about this but I need those blood samples if you ever wanna get back to normal.” She says gently, moving closer. Even like this and terrified Leon would never hurt her but he tries to press himself back into the corner, away from both of them as Chris watches and hurts at how scared Leon is. He should never have bought Leon back to the lab, he prays that Leon will still trust him after this. 

“I'm sorry, buddy.” Chris says to him, looking away when Rebecca kneels down at Leon's side and quickly sedates him as he tries to hide. She's an expert and manages to do it without hurting him, stepping back to let the drugs slowly send him under while Leon curls in on himself in fear. 

“It's okay, he'll understand.” Rebecca says softly, patting Chris' arm. He hadn't realised how upset he'd be seeing Leon afraid for real, it feels like he wants to just lock them both back up in Leon's apartment and never let anyone touch him again. He know that Leon needs to get better, though, so once the smaller man's breathing evens out as he slips into unconsciousness Chris navigates his way over the pile of trays and crouches down, brushing Leon's hair out of his face and feeling awful at how pale he looks. Instead of using a wheelchair this time he just picks Leon up easily, holding him with one arm under his knees and the other at his back, Leon's head resting on his shoulder.

He doesn't put Leon down for Rebecca to draw his blood, just stands and lets her do it while he's holding onto Leon, who doesn't stir at all. When she's done she spends a few minutes telling him about the good progress she's made with the cure, how she'll be able to synthesize it in the next few days and test it with the blood. She promises to bring it to the apartment when it's ready instead of having Leon come to the lab again, and Chris agrees that's probably for the best.

He doesn't stay long after that, carrying Leon back to the car with his hood up and driving him home in silence, missing him even though he's right there in the passenger seat, sleeping softly. He feels terrible about scaring him that much and once they reach Leon's building he carries the smaller man up to his apartment and sits on the couch instead of putting him in the bed. He lays Leon on the cushions next to him, head resting in Chris' lap so he can stroke his hair, and hopes that Leon will forgive him when he wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments! It really keeps me going, this is the longest thing I've ever posted. :D  
> I think there'll only be a few more chapters now, though.


	9. Eating

Leon hasn't eaten anything since the disastrous trip back to the lab, where he'd seen the three other infected in their glass cell and bolted, terrified. He's been different since getting back to the apartment, staying in the smallest, darkest corners he can find and avoiding eye contact. He'll tolerate having Chris in the room but doesn't like being touched or having anyone too close, although he's slowly getting used to Chris again. He still looks wary though and no matter what he does, Chris can't get him to eat anything. Even apple slices only get a cursory glance and after a couple of days he has to call Rebecca over no matter how busy she is.

 

She stands by the doorway in the bedroom and watches Leon, who stays in a corner sitting on the floor and keeps his head turned away from them both, never meeting their eyes. He has his knees drawn up and is making himself small, knuckles against his lips and his blue eyes staring intently at a spot on the wall near him, listening carefully to everything they do. Every time Rebecca moves or speaks she can see Leon's tense shoulders twitch and the one time she takes a step closer she watches his reaction and steps back again. Every muscle had tensed, his eyes widening a little, not breathing. He's obviously terrified and she stays near the doorway instead, watching him slowly relax again.

 

“See?” Chris says, a plate of apple slices in his hand. “He won't touch them even if I leave him alone.”

 

She watches Chris slowly move towards Leon and set the plate down a foot away from his leg, backing off. Leon tenses up but seems to trust Chris a little more than her, turning his head towards him for a moment before going back to looking away. His eyes dip to the plate only for a second – he immediately looks away from it and curls into the corner a little more.

 

Chris gets up again and sighs, moving back over to her and watching Leon with worried eyes. She's glad the smaller man has someone who cares about him as much as Chris does, she'd always thought they should have been better friends. She'd told them again and again how alike they both were but they'd never seemed to get on, at least until now. Chris seems to be the only one Leon trusts to even get near him after the lab.

 

“Any ideas?” Chris asks, looking desperate. Rebecca wonders how many different apples he's been through in the last couple of days trying to get Leon to eat something and taps his arm gently, leads him out into the living room so that Leon can relax a little.

 

“He's afraid, that much is easy. He probably doesn't understand that he isn't going to be put back in with the others.” She guesses, sitting down on the couch while Chris paces about like he's lost, not seeming to know what to do with himself now that he doesn't have Leon's silent presence at his side.

 

“I get that, but why isn't he eating?” Chris asks, looking like he wants to be back in with Leon, trying to tempt him in with the apple slices. “Is he on hunger strike or something?” He asks. Rebecca gestures to the armchair and watches Chris glance at it and then perch on the edge of the couch instead.

 

“That's the only chair he'll sit in, the other ones freak him out.” He explains, looking slightly sheepish. “If I sit there he gets all weird about it and stares at me until I move.”

 

Rebecca laughs softly at that, making a note to tease Leon about being afraid of chairs when he's back to his usual self. The thought of that sobers her a little and she looks at the empty armchair, thinking about the other three and once again feeling glad that Leon has Chris.

 

“I have an idea why he isn't eating. It's pure guesswork though, I might be completely wrong.” She says quietly, still looking at the chair and trying to imagine Leon curled up there. She can't quite picture it, Leon has never really been that relaxed around her – especially the last few years with the amount of bioterrorism he's had to deal with. She supposes only Chris is ever going to get to see Leon that way, content and unguarded.

 

“Any idea is better than no idea,” Chris reminds, waiting patiently. She sighs, looking down and hoping she's wrong.

 

“You remember why we had to move him in the first place – the other three think he's prime breeding material. The problem is, that's true. Leon's a pretty perfect specimen, right?” She raises her eyes to Chris, who looks a little flustered for a moment.

 

“Uh, I-I guess,” he says, flushing in a way she thinks is kind of adorable.

 

“Oh?” She smiles at him, raising her eyebrows teasingly for a moment before letting it go with a grin when he looks away and clears his throat, still blushing. “What I mean is that he's physically extremely fit; he's a healthy weight and he's in good shape. There are plenty of other reasons he's a good candidate for a mate – I'm sure you've noticed some of them,” she teases, making him blush again. “However, those are the ones the three dominant strain infected are going to notice.”

 

“Oh...” Chris says softly as he realises what she's getting at, his brown eyes glancing worriedly at the door to Leon's room.

 

“Yeah. He's not eating because he's trying to make himself a less attractive prospect for them. He must know on some level that if he's malnourished and unhealthy then they won't want him.”

 

“But he's the only option. They'll want him no matter what he does.”

 

“He probably isn't thinking that logically.” She says gently. “He's terrified that we're going to put him back in with the others, this is probably the only thing he knows to do that might make them leave him alone. He must understand that he couldn't keep all three of them off him for long.”

 

She isn't sure what she expects Chris' reaction to that theory to be, but after a moment he stands up, slapping a fist against one palm and looking determined.

 

“All right. So I just need to make him understand that he isn't going to go back in with the others and then he'll start eating again.” He says simply, looking like he already has a plan. It makes Rebecca smile, standing up as well.

 

“I don't know how you're going to manage that, but I'm pretty sure you're the best bet for him being okay.” She tells him, smiling because the whole situation is pretty adorable compared to their usual run-ins with the virus. “I'll head back to the lab, let me know if anything changes, okay? This should all be over soon either way, I need to do some more testing but we should have a workable cure in the next week or so.”

 

“Thanks, 'Becca.” Chris smiles, sweeping her up in his gentlest bear hug. It's like being wrapped in a big, solid hot water bottle for a moment and she knows why Leon feels so safe with Chris.

 

X

 

After Rebecca leaves Chris heads back into the bedroom with a fresh plate of apples, moving slowly over to Leon and sitting down beside him. He puts the plate down but doesn't offer it, noting that the previous plate's offering is still there, going brown, untouched.

 

“Rebecca left,” he mentions, watching Leon's shoulders relax a little at that as though he understands it. Instead of trying to get Leon to talk to him for the moment he just puts down the pad of paper he has between them, spreading a few pens beside it. As he starts to clumsily draw he knows that he's caught Leon's attention; the smaller man slowly uncurls from his defensive position and watches, still not meeting his eyes. He just watches the pen move silently, running his eyes over the shapes appearing on the paper.

 

Chris isn't the best artist, Claire would have been much better at this. However, he manages to draw a cage with three hunched over stick figures in it, giving them red circles for eyes and starting to draw some other parts of the lab. Most of it just looks like blocky machines and screens to him in real life so that's what he draws, adding in Rebecca's desk and the examination table. When he's done he turns the paper around so that Leon can see it, watching him. He clearly recognises it because he goes tense, eyes widening a little in alarm as he edges back against the wall behind him, away from the picture.

 

“See these guys?” Chris taps the picture over the cage, watching Leon follow the movement, holding his breath and looking pale. Taking out a black marker, Chris draws a big X over the cage, scribbling it out and lamenting a little for his terrible drawing. Leon shifts slightly at that, his wide eyes watching the movement, occasionally glancing up at Chris' face. When it's done Chris puts the top on the marker and sets it down, smiling slightly when Leon reaches slowly for it and then snatches it up, holding it against his chest. He doesn't try to draw anything with it, just keeps it held tightly in one hand and watches intently as Chris takes a new piece of paper and puts the ruined drawing aside.

 

This time Leon pays rapt attention as Chris embarks on his most challenging artistic endeavour yet. He draws a stick man with big muscles in the middle of the page and then turns it around, letting Leon take a good look at it. Leon runs his eyes over the picture and then reaches out with his free hand, traces the lines with his fingertips. Chris watches, smiling, as Leon traces the arms of the stick man and then glances up at his shoulders and down at the page again. It's a good sign that he understands what the drawing is.

 

“That one is me, okay?” Chris tells him, tapping his chest and then the picture. Leon follows the movement and waits, seeming a little more at ease than before. Turning the page around again Chris uncaps his marker and tries to draw Leon at his side. He manages a smaller stick man with Leon's hairstyle, giving it blue dots for eyes before turning the page around again for Leon to inspect.

 

It's a good sign when Leon uncertainly taps the picture of himself and then his own chest, although he still hasn't managed to bring himself to meet Chris' eyes yet.

 

“Yeah, that's you. See? Me and you over here.” He takes the scribbled out picture and pushes it away from them both. “Those guys? Waaaay over there.”

 

Leon watches all this in silence before tentatively reaching for the picture with the cage. Chris lets him, watching as he turns the page over in his hands, running his fingers over the scribbles and tracing the big X over the cage. He looks up at Chris for an instant before placing the page down next to the other drawing. Chris isn't sure what he's doing until he watches Leon pick up the picture of the two of them and carefully tear it down the middle. He picks up the half with the drawing of Chris and places it carefully on the floor, silently looking down at his marker for a moment, turning it over until he figures out the cap and tries to draw with it.

 

Chris has never thought of giving him drawing materials before, wondering if Leon can articulate what he wants or needs that way instead. He knows from the doodles down the sides of some of his old reports that Leon isn't too bad at drawing. It seems to have gone the way of the rest of his language skills, though, and he just draws a rough square and a wobbly rectangle on its side near the picture of Chris, looking down at them and then at the pen as though he isn't sure how drawing works. There are a few other colours and Chris quietly offers them, hoping maybe if Leon colours in the shapes he can figure out what they are. It works – Leon picks out a blue pen and very neatly starts to colour in the picture.

 

“The couch and the chair, right?” Chris guesses, waiting for Leon to look up at him before pointing out into the living room. Leon stops colouring, seemingly understanding that Chris knows what he was trying to draw. He places that half of the picture to one side and then picks up the picture of himself, looking up at Chris silently with his serious blue eyes before placing it over the cage on the other drawing and waiting, holding his marker against his chest again.

 

Chris looks down sadly at the little stick figure of Leon over the cage full of infected, shaking his head.

 

“No, buddy. You're not going back in there.” He reassures gently, taking the picture of Leon and placing it back where it should be, next to the picture of him. To get his point across he takes the picture with the cage and makes sure Leon is watching when he crumples it up and pushes it away, instead placing the two halves of the picture of them together between them. “You can stay right here with me for as long as you want to, okay?” He tells Leon, who finally meets his eyes nervously, searching them for the truth. “You never have to go back there.” He promises.

 

Leon eventually looks back down at the page and pushes the picture of himself closer to the picture of Chris, carefully lining the torn edges up. Chris smiles at him and helps, drawing the television and the coffee table on Leon's side of the picture. Leon traces them carefully, shoulders relaxing finally.

 

“Are we good?” Chris asks, holding out a hand for Leon, who gives him one more long, searching look before taking it. It's a relief that he's allowing Chris to touch him again and he doesn't waste the opportunity, getting up and bringing Leon along with him into the living room. Leon pauses at the doorway and scans the room to make sure they're alone before silently moving over to his chair, checking it over before sitting down, curling his feet up to one side. Chris can't help grinning at the sight, he'd been getting pretty worried. The big test comes when he takes the plate of freshly sliced apples and drags the coffee table a little closer to Leon's chair, placing them down in front of him.

 

“You gonna eat something now and stop making me worry, you jerk?” Chris asks affectionately, gesturing to the apples. Leon stares up at him for a moment and then down at the apples, reaching for a slice slowly in case Chris stops him. Chris just waits calmly, forcing himself not to hold his breath when Leon finally raises a slice to his mouth and eats it, looking up for approval.

 

“Good job, Leon. Eat all of those, okay? I'll make us some pasta.” He smiles, resisting the urge to pat Leon on the head. “You had me worried there,” he mentions, heading over to the kitchen to start dinner and keeping an eye on Leon, who curls up in his chair and stays there, steadily relaxing as the evening wears on.

 

It isn't until he gets back from visiting Rebecca to tell her about it all the next day that Chris remembers the pictures. He heads into Leon's bedroom to look for them, since Leon is in the living room drawing abstract shapes with his new favourite marker.

 

The screwed up picture of the lab is where he left it and he tosses it into the waste paper basket, glancing around for the two halves of the other picture. It isn't where he left it and he glances into the living room, doesn't remember seeing Leon carrying it around like he does with most of the random objects he gets attached to. For a moment he isn't sure where Leon could have stashed it until an idea strikes him and he opens the closet, takes a quick look in Leon's box of treasures. It's in there in the top shoe box, placed carefully on top of the stack of pictures. He wonders if Leon will even remember what it is later, when he finds it in there. Maybe not, but he'll know it was important to him either way. Chris leaves it in there, closing up the boxes and the closet and heading out to reintroduce Leon to the wonders of pizza for dinner.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearly done, just a couple more chapters. I still love getting comments, though! :D


	10. Cure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this one, I think.

 

It's Chris' birthday and he spends the first half of it in the lab with Rebecca discussing the almost complete cure, taking a video call from Claire and a few phone calls from Jill and the others before Rebecca gives him a cake she bought from the store and makes him blow out some candles. It's sweet, as long as he tries not to notice the three infected agents in the glass cell watching, growling low and constant.

 

After a few drinks with her, some awkward questions about Leon and a pretty nice time despite the zombies - which is all he can ever really hope for – he heads back to Leon's place with the cake and lets himself in to find the smaller man in his usual spot on the floor, sorting through his pictures. He has a few random objects from the apartment beside him that he must have liked during the day and picked up, a dime, a single fingerless glove and a teaspoon. Today's item he's gotten most attached to seems to be a shell that he's holding in one hand while he arranges the pictures – it's a small scallop and Chris isn't sure where the heck he got it from. He keeps hold of it while Chris locks up and sets the leftover half a cake down on the counter, waiting for Leon to make his way over.

 

“Want some?” He asks, gesturing to the cake and cutting a small slice for Leon, putting it on a plate and sliding it over. Leon waits patiently for it, holding his shell in one hand and picking up the offered fork, waiting for Chris to try some of his own piece before sampling it himself. He seems to like it, looking up at Chris again approvingly before going back to eating.

 

“Good, huh?”

 

He's pleased that Leon likes it, sharing the cake silently for a little while before Chris remembers the present he'd decided Leon would appreciate more than him. It's only a paper party hat folded up in his pocket but Rebecca had made him wear one while she stood next to the laptop screen and she and Claire had sung happy birthday to him until he'd begged them to stop.

 

“Okay, this is your hat. I had to wear one of these earlier so now you gotta look just as cool as I did.” He claims, unfolding the brightly coloured paper crown and holding it up. Leon pauses as he approaches around the counter and gently lays the hat on top of the younger man's hair, grinning at the way Leon is very still and looks like he has some concerns about what's happening. “It doesn't hurt, I promise. Well, not physically. Your pride might take a dent but I'm not enough of a jerk to take photos.” Chris laughs, stepping back and surveying his handiwork.

 

The crown is light blue and big enough that it droops down on one side, but Leon can wear anything and look good in it. This is no exception and Chris thinks it makes him look kind of pretty, which isn't particularly manly but is true nonetheless. Leon looks up at him with his trusting blue eyes from under it, waiting innocently to see if anything is going to happen before raising a tentative hand to his head, brushing his fingertips against the delicate paper.

 

“Sorta suits you,” Chris smiles. “Everybody else looks like an idiot when they wear those but you kinda pull it off.” He tells Leon, who watches him for a while longer before going back to his slice of cake. Chris figures he'll take it off when he gets bored with it, snorting in amusement and heading over to the couch. It's not a bad birthday, especially when Leon joins him a few minutes later and sits next to him, leaning against his arm and silently handing him the shell, still wearing his crown.

 

Xxx

 

The next evening Rebecca calls, something Chris has been both waiting for and dreading for nearly two weeks. She has the cure, she's tested it on Leon's blood and the only thing left to do is to give it to him.

 

He sits with Leon while they wait for her to arrive, since there's no way in hell he's taking Leon near that lab again, not after last time. Instead he sits and watches the smaller man, who's been drawing a line for the past few minutes. It's on a large sheet of paper and it wriggles and loops and twists, curving across the blank page over and over. Chris has no idea what it means, if it even means anything at all. Leon just seems to like the way the pen moves against the paper and Chris observes him quietly, turning the little shell Leon had given to him between his fingers.

 

He kind of doesn't want to give Leon back to the world and he knows how selfish it is to feel that way. Leon deserves to be cured, to be able to smile and laugh and articulate what he's feeling the way he used to. But the thought of losing him, of never again seeing this apartment he's gotten so used to and cooking dinner, making apple slices, curling up in front of the TV with Leon warm against him... it's painful.

 

When Rebecca finally turns up Leon eyes her warily and waits for Chris to sit on the couch before sitting next to him, curled into his side. He doesn't completely trust Rebecca since the lab but having Chris next to him seems to help – Rebecca notices how close they are and smiles but doesn't comment on it.

 

“It's your big day. You ready for this?” Chris asks, taking Leon's hand and holding it, positioning his arm so that Rebecca can inject the little pressure syringe full of yellow-green fluid she has.

 

“It's slow to work but it'll do the job.” Rebecca promises, waiting for Chris to distract Leon by holding out the shell to show him. Once Leon isn't looking she quickly leans over and presses the nozzle of the gun-like apparatus against his inner arm, triggering it with a hiss of compressed air and watching Leon flinch and jerk back with frightened eyes.

 

“Hey, hey, it's okay. Don't worry, you'll thank Rebecca for that later.” Chris tells him, taking a little cotton pad from Rebecca's kit and pressing it gently to Leon's arm where a spot of blood wells up. Leon curls in closer against him and cringes away from her in case she does anything else to him so Rebecca smiles, packs her gear away.

 

“It's probably going to take a while to work, it's better if you stay with him until he's okay. I'll check back tomorrow and see how he's doing.” She tells Chris, waving him back when he makes to get up and see her out. “I think Leon could do with a hug right now and I have three other patients to check on.” She smiles, letting herself out and clicking the door quietly closed behind her.

 

Xxx

 

Chris stays with Leon until he's gotten over whatever he thinks Rebecca did to him. He seems a lot more relaxed once she's left and after a few minutes of tense wariness he seems to calm down a little. Lunch was a few hours ago so Chris eventually gets up and heads over to the kitchen when there doesn't seem to be any immediate change in Leon, deciding that they could both use something to eat.

 

“Okay, pasta time. At least when you're back to your old self your diet's gonna improve.” Chris says, setting a pot of water to boil and deciding he'll actually put sauce with it this time, since it might be the last time he gets to cook for them. The thought makes him pause for a long moment, leaning against the counter opposite the island with his back to Leon, just holding the jar he was going to open and trying not to think about all the things he's about to lose.

 

He shouldn't be upset that Leon is going to be back to normal soon. He should be happy, he just doesn't know how he's going to get through the next few weeks back at his own house, all alone. Leon's presence makes him happy and he wants to just keep the smaller man with him, although he wishes Leon could speak to him. It's the closeness he wants to keep, closeness that Leon might not even remember soon.

 

It's a dumb thing to be upset over, he thinks, twisting the lid off the jar and carrying on with the cooking. He hopes he's done a good job, anyway. He knows for sure that if he'd been the one infected then Leon would have taken care of him if he'd been asked. Leon would have done a good job, too. Probably wouldn't have upset him as much as he'd managed to upset Leon but at least he's found out the things he has, at least he knows now that Leon wants to be his friend, might even be open to more than that. There are things he's never going to forget from these past couple of weeks, and not just the sad things he's discovered about Leon. There's also the way Leon looks at him, with so much trust like he just knows that Chris will protect him. Even after the trip back to the lab Leon still trusts him, still knows he's safe as long as Chris is with him.

 

The water starts to bubble over and Chris snaps out of thinking about what's going to happen now, instead draining the pot and adding the sauce. He lets it cook a couple more minutes and then dishes it out, slices up an apple and fetches them a drink each. When he carries it over to the coffee table Leon is still sitting on the couch and watches him silently, looking tired. He doesn't object when Chris sits next to him, taking his food and looking at it for a long moment like he's never seen it before. He still eats it, though, and seems pretty happy with the offering.

 

Dinner goes down well and afterwards, when there's only a few apple slices left to eat, Leon kneels up on the couch at his side and does something new. He stares at Chris, runs his blue eyes over Chris' face and touches his cheek gently, studying him with the tiniest frown on his face. It's more expression than he's been able to manage for the past couple of weeks and Chris just lets him do as he pleases, able to see the tiny spark of recognition beginning to return to Leon.

 

“Coming back down to Earth, huh?” Chris smiles, almost wanting to cry with relief when Leon's eyes fix on his lips, follow the expression and then he returns it tentatively. His first smile in two weeks and Chris pulls him in slowly and gently, hugs him like he might never get to do it again. He has his forehead pressed to Leon's chest with his arms around the smaller man, and in that position he can hear Leon's heart beating. Clever fingers thread through his hair and Chris smiles, closes his eyes and sighs.

 

“It's gonna be weird not being able to touch you any more.” He murmurs, pulling back gently and watching Leon continue to look at him like he _knows_ who this is, it's just on the tip of his tongue and he can't quite catch the memory.

 

After a while of that Leon turns and looks around the apartment with the same almost-recognition, still frowning like he's trying to work out why the place is so familiar. He looks exhausted, though, and after giving him a few minutes to inspect his surroundings Chris gets up and holds out a hand.

 

“Let's turn in for the night, you'll probably feel better once you get some sleep and that cure can kick in.” He decides, smiling again when Leon takes his hand, same as always, and gets up. The smaller man follows him into the bedroom and Chris hands him some pyjamas so that he can change while Chris does the same in the bathroom. There's still just the one bed and when Chris returns to the bedroom Leon is already sitting with the covers around his shoulders, waiting for him.

 

“Now there's a sight I'm gonna miss,” he sighs softly, mostly to himself, as he gets into bed and feels Leon curl against his back. “I hope you don't remember our sleeping arrangements, you'll kill me if you do.”

 

Leon says nothing as usual and when Chris turns over carefully the smaller man is already asleep, breathing softly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: after 25,000 words, Leon might finally speak for the first time in this entire story. XD


	11. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Everything's going to be fine. :)
> 
> This chapter contains: Adult content, actual talking from Leon, insecurity, even more fluff, breakfast.

Some time in the early hours of the morning Chris blinks awake sleepily, certain he heard his name. He can feel Leon's hand on his back but it's soft, just tracing the muscles of one shoulder gently, so he closes his eyes again.

 

“S'okay. Go back to sleep.” He mumbles tiredly, feeling the hand leave his back only to be replaced a few moments later by Leon curling up against him again.

 

He drifts off like that, comfortable and warm.

 

Xxx

 

When Chris wakes up the next morning Leon isn't next to him. It isn't the first time Leon's gotten up first to go wandering around the apartment like a lost soul, so Chris doesn't worry too much. At least, until he hears the kettle boil and memories of the previous day and Leon's cure come flooding back.

 

He sits up abruptly and looks around at the fact that he's in Leon's bed, his clothes draped over the back of a chair nearby, wondering what Leon is going to have thought when he woke up to that. Worried, he runs his hands through his hair to try and flatten it down a little and is about to get up when the agent in question appears in the doorway, looking at him with that same unreadable expression. The only difference is, he's carrying a mug of coffee in each hand.

 

Chris stares at him, glances down at the coffee and then back up, watching Leon pad over in bare feet and sheepishly offer him one of the mugs. He takes it, noting that Leon's mug is coffee as well, not milk or water like he'd been drinking for the past fortnight.

 

“Are you...?” Chris asks when Leon doesn't offer anything else, just sits down on the edge of the bed and cradles his drink in both hands.

 

The smaller man glances down at his coffee instead of looking at Chris, seeming anxious and still a little blank.

 

“I'm-I'm okay.” Leon says uncertainly, the first words Chris has heard him speak since he was infected. Chris grins widely, feeling a rush of relief and having had no idea how much he missed Leon's voice until now.

 

“I can explain this.” Chris gestures to the bed and himself, smiling. “I'm too big to sleep on a couch, I promise I didn't do anything to you.” He offers, watching the way Leon processes that slowly, like he's still getting to grips with language again.

 

“Do anything...to me?” Leon repeats slowly, sounding puzzled and glancing up at Chris with worried blue eyes. “What-what happened to me? Everything is mixed up, I can't...I feel like...I don't even know. Scrambled.” Leon manages in a ragged voice, running a hand through his hair and swallowing thickly, closing his eyes for a long moment. Chris pulls back the covers and moves to sit on the edge of the bed next to him, concerned.

 

“You got infected by a strain of the A-Virus, the thing Arias used on New York. You remember that?” He asks, watching Leon pause for a long moment and then look down, pale and uncertain.

 

“Arias was-was...” He squeezes his eyes closed for a moment, struggling to remember. “He was...big, a monster. We killed his wife. I got infected...?” Leon asks, his memory seeming to be patchy at best. Chris gently takes his coffee mug and puts it on the bedside table when he notices that Leon is shaking a little, a fine tremor running through his hands.

 

“Yeah, you and three others. Rebecca had you all covered, though. She came over last night and gave you the cure, she said it's slow to work so don't worry if you're still feeling a little messed up.” He explains gently, “She called me in to help out, figured you'd be better off here than at the lab. You've been pretty out of it for the last couple of weeks.”

 

Leon takes that in and looks up at him, eyes still worried.

 

“Weeks? How did you control me? Wasn't I violent? Did I-did I try and attack you?” He asks raggedly, looking ill and pale, probably imagining how it might have gone. Chris laughs gently, flexing one arm until his muscles bunch.

 

“You think you could take me?” He asks with a smile, noticing the way Leon's eyes linger on his arm before dropping to stare at his own hands nervously. “The other three got the short end of the stick and ended up like the civilians in New York. You lucked out, though – the strain reacted with something in your blood and mutated, you weren't anything like that. Rebecca thinks it was the remains of that plaga they put in you in Spain.”

 

Leon looks surprised at that and Chris hands him back his coffee, watching him slowly go over what he's just been told.

 

“I didn't attack you?” He finally asks, soft and apprehensive. Chris' heart aches a little for him and he smiles fondly, getting up.

 

“Nope.” He says, not mentioning the first time he'd turned up at the lab and they'd had to sedate Leon because he hadn't really been attacking then, he'd been trying to escape. “C'mon, let's get something to eat. I know how you feel about breakfast. You look like you could use it and I'll tell you whatever you want to know while we eat, okay? Take it slow, you've been through a rough time.” He tells Leon, who seems surprised at the consideration and follows him.

 

While Chris rolls up his pyjama sleeves and starts cooking it's odd to see Leon pull out a chair from under the kitchen island, look at it oddly for a moment and then sit there to drink the rest of his coffee. He watches Chris move around his kitchen like he knows the place, blue eyes following everything Chris does until it starts to make him a little nervous. He hopes Leon doesn't just want him to get out.

 

“Here,” Chris says as he carries Leon's plate around to the other side of the counter for him, hoping a full English breakfast will help Leon feel a little better. “You've been living on the three meals I can actually cook for the past two weeks so once I'm gone you'll probably be glad to eat something new.” He mentions, figuring Leon probably wants to be alone now that he's on the mend. He doesn't expect to be stopped as he heads back to his own place, though.

 

“Chris-”

 

Leon's voice is pleading as he reaches out, grasps a handful of Chris' shirt and then quickly jerks back, flushing.

 

“Sorry, I-I don't know why I-” he begins, raising a hand to his head, curled in on himself like a wounded animal. “Can you stay with me?” He asks, sounding desperate and ragged. “I know you've probably had enough of me by now, you probably just want to get home but I'm not...” He looks down, swallows thickly and seems ashamed. “I'm not okay yet. Don't-don't go, please.”

 

Chris looks down at him sadly and reaches out, runs fingers through Leon's hair soothingly even though he knows he should stop doing that now that Leon isn't operating on the level of a frightened animal any more. He definitely isn't back to normal yet though, and Chris is happy to stay.

 

“Of course. You can take as long as you need, and I'll be here as long as you need me.”

 

Leon looks up at him in surprise but stops cringing in on himself, making no move to stop the fingers that run through his hair a couple more times before Chris realises he's being weird and stops.

 

“Sorry,” he smiles, moving back around to the other side of the counter to where his own breakfast is waiting. “Eat up, you'll feel better soon.”

 

Leon offers a relieved almost-smile and picks up his fork, starts eating with a much less worried air to him now that Chris has agreed to stay a little longer.

 

Xxx

 

He's stayed with Leon for few more days now after the cure, finding excuses to stick around. He really doesn't want to leave, doesn't want to go back to his empty house and not have Leon beside him, looking at him with those blue eyes that he's gotten so used to. He's running out of excuses to stay, though, and he figures Leon probably wants his bed back. They've been sleeping on opposite edges but he's still woken up every morning with Leon pressed to his back as though he's some kind of comfort to the smaller man, who's been quietly getting to grips with normal life again and hasn't really asked many questions yet other than the basics of what had happened. Rebecca had visited to check him over and said that he was doing fine – the other three infected were the same and were taking a few days to recover fully. He's fine now, Chris knows, but he still doesn't want to leave.

 

“You don't have to stay.” Leon says softly. “I know you're busy with the BSAA and I'm fine now, honestly.” He's said that for the last couple of days, feeling a little guilty about the way he'd panicked at the thought of Chris leaving him alone that first day and grabbed onto his sleeve like a scared kid.

 

He's sitting on the couch in his pyjamas with a mug of coffee, looking tired but healthy, hands still trembling minutely but the blankness mostly gone. It's good to see him well but he still seems worried, his emotions not quite back in check yet.

 

“If you want me to go, you know you can just tell me.” Chris replies, keeping his tone as light as he can but still hating the way Leon immediately seems to go quiet, withdrawing a little.

 

“No, I don't want you to leave. I'm sorry.” He says, not trying to make an excuse. The honest, quiet reply is a reminder that he still isn't quite back to normal. From behind the kitchen island Chris can see the look in Leon's eyes as he keeps them trained on his drink – the upset there evident because he hasn't quite learnt to hide it again yet after being infected. He remembers Leon's letter, the ' _I never know what to say to you'_ , and picks up his own coffee, moves over to the couch. Deciding that they need to talk he sits down next to Leon, closer than he would have before all this.

 

“If you wanna be alone it's okay. To be honest I'm just making excuses to stay at this point.” He says, smiling slightly and trying to be equally truthful about what he's feeling. Leon looks up at that, surprised.

 

“I...no, I really don't want you to leave. Why are you-are you making excuses to stay? I'm not sick any more, I can remember my name and my social security number now so I'm cured, right?” Leon forces a wavering smile. “You've done more than you needed to, Claire wouldn't be mad at you if you wanted to go.” He adds, a little tense at how close Chris is but slowly beginning to relax.

 

“Are you kidding? She'd kill me, but that's besides the point. I'm the one who wants to stay. What's the real issue here? It's okay, you can tell me.” Chris tries for friendly, hopes it doesn't come across as awkward. Leon still looks down again and Chris can't take his eyes off the vulnerable nape of his neck, the hair there curling just slightly. He wants to touch, finds it hard to remember to keep his hands off Leon now that he isn't viral.

 

“I just...” Leon cups his coffee mug with both hands, looking down into it with the same unreadable expression he'd worn for weeks. “I just don't want you to think I'm pathetic, that I can't take care of myself. I know I-I fucked up, I know it could have been a lot worse and I'll need to prove that I can still do my job properly. It won't happen again, I should've done better than that and I'm sorry you had to deal with it. I don't want you to end up resenting me because I'm being a burden on you, taking up your time off.” He keeps his eyes down, shoulders a little tense. “I'll make this up to you.”

 

Chris remembers every line of the letter Leon wrote him, reaches out and touches Leon's hair at the back of his neck, pulls it a little playfully where it's starting to curl. He decides then and there that he isn't going to try and resist Leon any longer, not when he looks so worried and ashamed.

 

“You're my friend, Leon. We haven't always seen eye to eye but I'll always be here for you when you need me.” He smiles. “You don't have to make up for anything, or prove anything. I know you're one of the best and this isn't gonna convince me otherwise, it was just bad luck.” He assures, feeling Leon tense and relax again at his touch and his words.

 

“I know you're always there, you're a big damn hero.” Leon smiles slightly, dropping his gaze again a moment later. “I just, I know I'm on thin ice with you a lot of the time and this can't have helped. If I was some shrieking lunatic trying to claw your eyes out when I was viral I'm sorry, anything inappropriate I did-”

 

“You didn't make a sound, actually.” Chris cuts him off, unable to watch the way he's clutching the coffee mug with white knuckles, obviously imagining things much worse than what actually happened. “You were kind of like a rescue puppy or something. You just watched everything and didn't really trust me at first, but you got used to me in the end after I started feeding you.” He laughs. Leon flushes, looks up.

 

“A-a puppy?” He says in what's almost a squeak.

 

Chris laughs again, ruffling Leon's hair and noticing that Leon doesn't attempt to stop him, even leans in to the touch a little as though it calms him.

 

“Yup. After a week or so you warmed up to me and got cuddly, it was pretty cute if I'm honest. You're lucky it was me watching you and not Claire, or every social media site on the net would be full of classified pictures of the bad-ass government agent falling asleep on his friends, being afraid of loud noises and chairs, and spending hours arranging things in patterns on the floor until it was time for apple slices and milk.”

 

Leon stares for a while at that, trying to reconcile that information against whatever horrors he'd been imagining.

 

“Apple slices?” He finally asks weakly, making Chris grin wider.

 

“Sure, you were worse than Jake about it. You'd eat other stuff but I had to tempt you in with apple on the side most of the time. I had a rough day about halfway in and you gave me your last slice, though.” He grins. “If that doesn't prove you're a good guy, nothing does.”

 

Leon is quiet a long moment before he smiles slightly, a little more genuine this time.

 

“Never thought I'd have Chris Redfield call me cute.” He finally says, looking a little happier at the teasing, as though that's what he'd always wanted. From the blank, unsent postcards in his box, Chris knows it kind of is what Leon always wanted from him.

 

“I never thought I'd have Leon Kennedy fall asleep in my arms but it's been that kind of week, I guess.” Chris says with a smile, enjoying the way Leon actually flushes.

 

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-” He begins, only for Chris to cut him off once more by tugging gently at a strand of his soft hair.

 

“Seriously, any time you wanna fall asleep on me I'm one hundred percent okay with it.” He says. Leon stares at him, a little startled.

 

“You... Was I that strange? You seem different. I wish I could remember properly, I just-just get feelings instead of anything clear. You, uh, feel like safety to me, though. I know it's kind of dumb.” Leon admits, still blushing slightly.

 

“Good.” Chris says back, equally soft. “I know I'm acting kinda weird. It just really hit me, I was more worried about you than I thought I'd be. It really bought home how much you matter, and how little I've let you know that. Seeing you curled up next to me, trusting me not to hurt you when you were that vulnerable...I guess I'm still here because I can't even imagine going to sleep tonight without you there.” He says, pauses when he runs it back, when he notices Leon's wide eyes, and sighs in defeat. “And yeah, I mean that exactly how it sounds. This is a weird time to tell you that and I know I just kind of sprung it on you out of the blue but...well, there you go. Don't worry, I'm not expecting anything.” He smiles, withdraws his hand from near the back of Leon's hair. “I'll be outta your way tomorrow and let you get back to normal. I'm not gonna say that I don't want anything to change, though. If you ever need someone to talk to, or you just want a drink after work you can call me. It's always good to see you, even if it's just 'cause I'm the guy with the apple slices.”

 

He tries not to look sheepish about everything he's just said and fails, watching Leon turn it over, process what he's just been told. He's still flushed and it's strange to see on the guy everyone figured was a playboy. In truth, when he thinks about it, he's never actually heard of Leon dating a woman. Even if he didn't know about Krauser he might have suspected Leon wasn't entirely straight if he'd ever thought to wonder about it. He wishes he'd figured that out sooner so that he could have done this a long time ago.

 

Finally Leon seems to reach some inner decision because he shifts a little – Chris prepares for him to get up and perhaps put a little room between them. After all, just because he knows Leon is interested in men doesn't mean he's interested in all of them. Krauser's defection and death obviously hit him hard and he might not even want to consider anyone else. That might have been it for him, and if that was the case Chris knew he'd respect that.

 

“So I...made you fall for me by staring at you for a fortnight and not saying a word?” Leon asks, looking up with a slight smile. “Are you sure you don't want to get yourself a dog instead? I mean...” He moves closer, sliding his bare feet up onto the couch and leaning up over Chris. “I've been told I'm a handful.” He murmurs, placing his hand gently on Chris' shoulder and looking down at him. That light, tentative touch is so similar to the way he'd moved for the entire fortnight that Chris finds himself reaching out in reply, his larger hands finding Leon's hips and guiding him over his lap, overjoyed to be touching him that way.

 

“Prove it.” Chris grins, leaning up to meet Leon when he laughs delightedly and ducks his head down for a kiss, smiling into it. Chris doesn't waste the opportunity and deepens it, feeling how easily Leon opens for him, how much Leon trusts him, how familiar he feels.

 

“Mmh...” Leon sighs into the kiss, tongue sliding against Chris', fingers dragging up into Chris' short hair. It's good to hear him make sounds, even better to be the cause of them.

 

“How much are you gonna let me get away with here?” Chris asks when he draws back to breathe, thumbs tracing circles at the dips in Leon's hips. The smaller man looks down with hungry eyes and licks his lips, breathing a little heavier than normal.

 

“If you want me, I'm all yours.” Leon replies, pressing in for another kiss and gasping hotly into it when Chris decides to test that, sliding one hand down to Leon's ass and squeezing. It makes Leon groan in pleasure and lean in to him, lips trailing to his jaw and the fingers of one hand deftly unbuttoning Chris' shirt.

 

“I should get some sort of medal for keeping my hands off you for two whole weeks,” Chris mentions, shrugging out of his shirt when Leon seems impatient to get it off. He tosses it aside somewhere on the floor once its off and turns back to Leon to see him yanking his own pyjama shirt off over his head, almost knocking the coffee cups off the table when he throws it behind himself carelessly.

 

“How about a reward instead?” Leon asks, trailing a hand down Chris' chest and stomach, eyes tracing every muscle his fingers slide over on their path downward.

 

“Well I mean, if you insist...” Chris laughs softly, trailing off into a pleased groan when Leon's clever hand dips down below his waistband and takes hold of him, the hesitation from earlier completely gone. This, at least, Leon seems to be totally sure about. He's definitely done it before, as well – he moves his hand expertly and Chris pulls him in for another kiss by the back of his neck, feeling Leon's free hand tracing feather-light over his chest and shoulders.

 

It seems unfair for Leon to do all the work, though, so Chris breaks off the kiss with a murmur of pleasure and tugs Leon's pyjama pants down his hips. Leon gets the not-very-subtle hint and breaks away for a moment, standing up to slide them off and kick them towards wherever his shirt ended up while Chris does the same with the rest of his own clothes. He's about to take his place back on Chris' lap but pauses when he sees the way Chris is staring at him.

 

“Sorry,” Chris blushes slightly when Leon catches him staring like a deer in headlights. “I just.... _damn_.” He says with a slightly sheepish laugh.

 

Leon smiles and climbs back on his lap, gives a shivering sigh as he settles, Chris' hand wrapping around them both and stroking slowly.

 

“You can talk.” Leon claims in a voice gone husky with lust. “You really did hit the gym these last few years...” He murmurs, running both hands over Chris' muscular shoulders happily.

 

“Looks like it was worth it,” Chris claims, feeling how hard Leon is in his hand. “Good to know you're a fan of muscles.”

 

“You have no idea,” Leon breathes, enjoying the slow, firm stroking for another long minute before gently pulling back a little so that he can slide down. Chris isn't sure what he's doing for a moment until Leon positions himself on the floor between Chris' legs. The sight of Leon licking his lips and looking up through his hair from that position makes him groan, wondering for a moment if he's dreaming.

 

He definitely isn't dreaming. Leon gives a wicked little smile at his expression and leans in, his blue eyes fluttering closed. He takes Chris in deep and hums softly as he sucks, working his tongue so well that Chris wonders if there's anything Leon isn't good at. He runs his fingers through Leon's hair as he works, breathing heavily and just watching, trying not to move his hips too much. It's a struggle, though, because Leon is _really_ good at what he's doing.

 

Eventually Chris has to stop him, burying a hand in his hair and pulling him back. Leon looks up at him from his knees, lips parted and shiny, flushed and heavy-eyed. For a moment Chris has to think of Arias just to avoid things being over too quickly, panting and watching Leon look up at him hungrily.

 

“You wouldn't happen to have...?” Chris asks in a voice that definitely doesn't crack a little because he's never been so hard in his life. He expects Leon to get up and go fetch some lube but the smaller man delves his hand under the couch cushions instead, rooting around for a moment before pulling out a gun, frowning at it in annoyance and setting it on the coffee table. He tries again and this time finds a travel-sized bottle of lube, which he hands innocently to Chris.

 

“I mean...I'm glad, but I also have questions.” Chris laughs, beckoning Leon back up onto his lap because not having his hands on Leon's warm skin at all moments is unacceptable.

 

“For emergencies.” Leon claims, rocking gently against him and immediately going back to touching his shoulders like it's a compulsion.

 

“The gun or the lube?” Chris asks. “Actually, let's...come back to that later.” He decides when Leon holds out a hand under the tube. Squeezing a generous amount onto Leon's hand, Chris watches the smaller man reach beneath himself. He can't see what Leon is doing but he can feel it as Leon tenses and relaxes, giving a breathless groan.

 

After a few moments of using his fingers to work himself open Leon shivers and leans heavily against Chris, who runs big hands over his skin, touches him everywhere he can, feels Leon breathing in hitched, needy little gasps against his shoulder. He's beautiful, every inch of him, and Chris brushes his hair back from his face, watching the way Leon's eyes flutter open and he shudders, flushed.

 

“Go slow,” Leon murmurs, slicking Chris up and then holding onto his shoulders, trusting Chris to set the pace. “It's been a while.”

 

Chris knows that's true from Leon's box of letters, wonders if he's the first guy Leon has slept with since Krauser died. Surely Leon has had hookups here or there since then, but it doesn't seem like he's had anything long term. Well, until now, if Chris gets his way.

 

“I won't hurt you.” Chris promises, holding Leon's hips with one hand and pressing up into him as slowly and carefully as he can manage.

 

“I know.” Leon breathes, trusting. He doesn't look like he's in pain – Chris watches his expression but Leon just lets his eyes slide closed and breathes steadily, settling down onto him inch by inch and holding onto his shoulders. He's tight and perfect and Chris pants, holding himself back from moving when he's finally seated fully in Leon, who stills for a long moment to adjust, wrapping his arms around Chris' shoulders and leaning in. Leon breathes shakily like that for a long moment before shifting a little, leaning up for a kiss and dragging his fingers through Chris' short hair as he rocks, moaning against Chris' lips.

 

The sound Leon makes has him craving more and Chris can't hold back any longer – he's spent over a fortnight dreaming about this, trying to hold himself back from touching Leon and now here he is, given full permission. Sweeping his hands down to Leon's hips he decides to show off his strength a little and lifts Leon slightly as he rocks up, pulling him back down to press in deep. Leon clings to his shoulders and gives a desperate moan, tipping his head back and clinging to him as he keeps up the pace. Whatever angle he's hitting inside Leon seems to be the right one because his thighs twitch and he makes a pleading sound in his throat, collapsing forward to gasp against Chris' neck.

 

“Good?” Chris asks breathlessly, keeping up the pace and listening hungrily to the sounds Leon makes, each pleasured little noise that's forced from him.

 

“Ye-yes, yes,” Leon moans in a hitched voice, sounding like he isn't going to last much longer. Chris isn't either, not with the noises Leon makes and how hot and tight he is, how perfectly his hips move. He doesn't try and draw it out too long, hoping they'll have plenty of other opportunities to do this from now on. Leon's ragged sounds start to take on a desperate edge and Chris grips his hips tighter, puts a little more of his strength behind each thrust.

 

Leon clings to his shoulders at the increased pace and starts to shiver, panting roughly. He looks so good with his skin flushed and his hair a mess that Chris can't help himself – he leans in and nuzzles the side of Leon's throat, finds a sensitive spot just above his collarbone and sucks a mark there. Leon is _definitely_ a fan of that and buries a hand in his hair, holds him there while they rock together.

 

Once he knows Leon likes what he's doing he decides he wants to see that mark on Leon's neck in the morning, wants to kiss it every day until it's faded and then make a new one. He kisses Leon's throat once more before biting down just hard enough for Leon to really feel it, finding out abruptly that Leon has a masochistic streak because he gives a surprised, aching cry and comes hard, clutching at Chris and arching while he shudders helplessly.

 

The sight of that is enough to send him over as well and Chris holds onto Leon's hips, groans in release and catches the smaller man easily when Leon shudders again and collapses exhaustedly against him, panting and laughing in breathless happiness.

 

Xxx

 

Afterwards, in bed, Chris gets to do the other thing he's wanted to do for the whole two weeks he's been at Leon's apartment.

 

He holds Leon's smaller body against him, back-to-chest, and gently kisses the back of Leon's neck near the mark he left.

 

“Chris?” Leon asks softly in the darkness, his voice barely louder than a whisper and sounding as pleasantly sleepy as Chris feels.

 

“Mmhmm?”

 

The smaller man shifts a little in his arms, getting comfortable against him, and relaxes.

 

“I don't want you to leave.” Leon says in a sleepy murmur.

 

“I can stay a few more days, if you want.” Chris replies, mumbling the words against the slightly curled hair at the back of Leon's neck.

 

“I mean I don't want you to leave ever.” Leon clarifies, yawning.

 

Chris grins against the back of his neck, glad that Leon can't see the big, dumb smile he's wearing at that.

 

“Yeah.” He closes his eyes, holds Leon a little closer. “Yeah, okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done! Over 30k words of fluff. XD   
> Thanks so much for all the lovely comments, you guys really kept me going with writing this. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
